23: Healing The Emotional To Heal The Physical With Misha Vayner

Maureen Spielman: 00:00:00

Hello and welcome back to mystical

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sisterhood. This is your host, Maureen Spielman and I'm here

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today with Misha Vayner. She's a certified trauma informed

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holistic health and life coach for her company, your well

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guide. She's here to discuss her life story and healing journey

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with us. About 10 years ago, Misha found herself at a rock

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bottom. And she went through to all the doctors and did all the

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things that she felt she needed to do in order to heal yet

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remained stuck on emotional, spiritual, physical and mental

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levels. And so when she discovered trauma healing, that

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was the beginning that began to unlock the true keys for living

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in full health and wellness and she's turned her life story into

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her life purpose. So I hope you join us today for this riveting

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conversation. I enjoyed every second of it. So we'll see you

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in the episode. Hey there, welcome to mystical sisterhood.

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This is your host, Maureen Spielman. I started the show to

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highlight the intuitives healers and other courageous women that

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I've met along my journey and continue to meet. Through

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amazing interviews, I seek to ask insightful questions to

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uncover ways in which you the listener can apply the wisdom

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and knowledge to your own life. I believe that we're all in this

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together. So sharing healing and joy, and bringing community

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together is both my passion and purpose. If you'd like to learn

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more about the mystical sisterhood community I'm

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building please visit www mystical sisterhood.com See you

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in the episode. Welcome back to mystical sisterhood. This is

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your host, Maureen Spielman. And today I am here with Misha

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Vayner. I'm really excited for this conversation, she and I met

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through a networking group. And Misha is a certified trauma

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informed holistic health and life coach for her company, your

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well guide, and she's a mother of three. And the reason or one

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of the reasons I was taken with Misha story and really wanted to

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have her on have you on today, Misha, is because you're always

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very open with your journey with your health journey, which

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showed up for you in your body and body manifestations of

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things that were going on underneath the surface for you.

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I always find you to be open, vulnerable, willing to share

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your story in order to help heal other people, and support women

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through the practices you've discovered that are truly

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essential to our well being. And so I'll just welcome you here

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saying that. So Hello, thanks for being here.

Unknown: 00:02:55

Hi, thank you so much for having me.

Maureen Spielman: 00:02:58

Yeah, you're so welcome. You know, when I

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think about your kind of backstory, I thought, like, I'm

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gonna just ask me Sure, right off the bat, you know, how did

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this all begin? And I know that you're going to start wherever

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you think you should start with that. Because if we begin of

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when you started to become ill and see manifestations in your

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body of illness, you could start there, or you could start

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further back, or we can jump around. So wherever, wherever

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you feel comfortable.

Misha Vayner: 00:03:29

Yeah, so I think what I'll do is I'll start with

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where the awareness came to me, and then I'll take it from

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there. About 10 years ago, I found myself completely at rock

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bottom, I had a former career in fashion, and I had a retail

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concept store that I went into business with a partner and the

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short and the longer that is that are the short of it is that

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my business partner did some shady things that led to me

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getting a $5 million lawsuit, which was devastating to me. And

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this was very traumatic, not just from a, you know, from a

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financial standpoint, but also from a betrayal standpoint, and

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also from a standpoint of this was a dream that I had worked

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towards since I was seven years old. And there was a whole bunch

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of other things tied up in this. But as I sort of was dealing

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with the trauma from that and the grief of like losing a

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business, and something that you've created, as I was dealing

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with the group grief of closing a business, the devastation of

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the betrayal, the you know, the financial hardship, all the

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things I also dealt with having a death in the family and a few

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other traumatic events. And at this point, I found myself

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completely like in despair and I Big Dan got pregnant with a

Misha Vayner: 00:05:02

first birthday, then my husband might have that now husband, but

Misha Vayner: 00:05:05

at the time my boyfriend proposed to me and I was like, I

Misha Vayner: 00:05:10

had not like make any legal commitments at this point. And I

Misha Vayner: 00:05:14

also don't trust anyone, I don't trust myself. I don't trust

Misha Vayner: 00:05:18

anyone else. Like no. And I was very much shaken by all of the

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things I was trying to like, wrap my head around and figure

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out. It was also during the height of the recession,

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businesses were closing, my sister was going through a

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divorce, my grandmother died. And I was just like, I in

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overwhelm and overload. And then we got pregnant. And after I,

Misha Vayner: 00:05:46

you know, I'm going to sort of fast track because there's so

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many pieces, but essentially, after I had my first child, I

Misha Vayner: 00:05:56

found myself completely at rock bottom, my, I couldn't walk, my

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brain shut down. I couldn't type because every single one of my

Misha Vayner: 00:06:07

joints was in so much pain that I actually couldn't type I had

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to use a pencil. If I was like reading by the time I got to the

Misha Vayner: 00:06:13

end of a sentence, I forgot the beginning of the sentence. If

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someone would walk out of the room, I literally and I'd watch

Misha Vayner: 00:06:19

them, I completely have no idea like where it was like where did

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they go and have this panic. I had night sweats. I had rectal

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bleeding, I had immense anxiety, chronic migraines. Dandruff, my

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eyes were caught very like they're constantly were itching

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and dull. It was from big, like small things to big things. It

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felt like not one part of my body worked. And this entire, I

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got to this Oh, and I couldn't lose a single pound of weight.

Misha Vayner: 00:06:48

And I was stuck with all this postpartum weight. Now, you're

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talking to someone who's always had a very fast metabolism has

Misha Vayner: 00:06:55

always prided herself on being very healthy. has, you know,

Misha Vayner: 00:06:59

like, even if you looked at my bookshelf for my college, it was

Misha Vayner: 00:07:02

like how to breathe properly. I'm like, No, I'm doing gut

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cleanses. Like, I've always been very, quote unquote, healthy and

Misha Vayner: 00:07:10

worked out and ate well, but no matter what I did, I couldn't

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lose any weight. I was chronically feeling awful and

Misha Vayner: 00:07:21

mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually. And

Misha Vayner: 00:07:25

I have after about a year and a half of just feeling like at

Misha Vayner: 00:07:29

this point, I was feeling lost, lost with myself disconnected

Misha Vayner: 00:07:33

from myself, but lost in my career. I had now gotten married

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because of health insurance, basically, because I was out

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pregnant and I had Indian parents that were putting

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pressure and I was just in this spin of making decisions that I

Misha Vayner: 00:07:48

like, I didn't even know what was right. And I felt very out

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of sync with my life. Like I didn't know who I was, I had

Misha Vayner: 00:07:57

gone back to work in fashion because I needed to get a

Misha Vayner: 00:07:59

paycheck to take care of my kid. I was like, feeling unfulfilled

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in my marriage, unfulfilled with myself and in so much pain.

Misha Vayner: 00:08:11

Finally, I was driving one day, and I actually like couldn't I

Misha Vayner: 00:08:15

remember being on the highway and I couldn't put my foot down

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on the break, because it hurt too bad. And I at that same time

Misha Vayner: 00:08:23

you can't make this up. I remember this is like graphic,

Misha Vayner: 00:08:27

but I remember also having blood come out of my butt and my

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vagina itching so badly. And just feeling like a disgusting

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human that like felt like broken like I pulled over to the side

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of the road. And I was like, I started bawling. Like I was like

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what is happening and I called my husband and I was like I need

Misha Vayner: 00:08:54

to get to the bottom of whatever this is. And by the way over the

Misha Vayner: 00:08:58

course of that past year that had just gone through when I was

Misha Vayner: 00:09:03

that this point my daughter was nine months old. So I guess the

Misha Vayner: 00:09:05

for the nine months prior I had been searching I've been going

Misha Vayner: 00:09:10

to you know endocrinologist I had been going to rheumatoid

Misha Vayner: 00:09:14

rheumatologist, sports medicine doctors, gastrointestinal

Misha Vayner: 00:09:18

doctor, like I had gone to everyone. And everything was

Misha Vayner: 00:09:23

like everyone was telling me there was like nothing wrong

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with me that there was you know, everything was coming back like

Misha Vayner: 00:09:28

fine all the time. You know, CAT scans, bone scans, everything.

Misha Vayner: 00:09:33

And I was in a walking boot for a year by June, I had gone on my

Misha Vayner: 00:09:37

honeymoon in a walking boot. I was crippled in pain for a year.

Misha Vayner: 00:09:42

So I mean, there's so many details to it. But essentially

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at that point, when I called my husband that was like the moment

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I'll never forget and I was in this holistic like birthing

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group that there was like an email listserv because I had a

Misha Vayner: 00:09:57

home birth and it was part of this community and I knew that

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they would probably have some sort of resource. So I reached

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out, you know, asking for recommendations, and I was led

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to a functional Doctor Who, you know, I went to and initially,

Misha Vayner: 00:10:12

you know, so what he first told me was, like, essentially, I was

Misha Vayner: 00:10:16

extremely depleted from all of the stress, all of the trauma.

Misha Vayner: 00:10:22

And, and by the way, he didn't completely break it down like

Misha Vayner: 00:10:25

this, but essentially, I was depleted from the stress and the

Misha Vayner: 00:10:29

trauma and I was so you know, I had, because of that, I had

Misha Vayner: 00:10:33

malabsorption, where my body wasn't able to absorb the

Misha Vayner: 00:10:36

nutrients, I had, you know, leaky gut, which was also part

Misha Vayner: 00:10:41

of that, and that is, you know, in my gut bacteria was all off,

Misha Vayner: 00:10:44

I this was causing insane inflammation, my brain had shut

Misha Vayner: 00:10:48

down because my body because it couldn't absorb the fat, it

Misha Vayner: 00:10:53

wasn't my brain actually shut down from not having enough fat,

Misha Vayner: 00:10:57

I also was not eating enough fat because I was trying to lose

Misha Vayner: 00:11:00

weight, I was also adding stress to my body by trying to work out

Misha Vayner: 00:11:04

to lose the weight when my body was already in a deficit. So all

Misha Vayner: 00:11:10

the all of these things, and then I had, you know, various

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metabolic disorders from Ohio, reverse T three to insulin

Misha Vayner: 00:11:17

resistance, all things that I never thought I would have. So

Misha Vayner: 00:11:22

we started by, you know, doing a complete like, you know,

Misha Vayner: 00:11:27

cleansing of my system and repopulating my gut bacteria and

Misha Vayner: 00:11:31

adding in tons of herbs and doing weekly IVs. And all of

Misha Vayner: 00:11:34

these things to basically restore the, you know, bio

Misha Vayner: 00:11:39

terrain of my body, so to speak, which, you know, was really

Misha Vayner: 00:11:44

remarkable because from that week to six weeks later, I lost

Misha Vayner: 00:11:47

about 20 pounds. My, my hair was shinier, my eyes are brighter by

Misha Vayner: 00:11:52

brain turned on, and no joint pain. Like, it was just

Misha Vayner: 00:11:57

remarkable. However, that six week point, it was definitely I

Misha Vayner: 00:12:02

would say like, a good like, 15% of my that wasn't, you know,

Misha Vayner: 00:12:06

still needed work. And I found out that day that I was pregnant

Misha Vayner: 00:12:09

again. Oh, now. And PS over that nine months before I had a

Misha Vayner: 00:12:15

miscarriage as well. So it was interesting. Anyway, over that I

Misha Vayner: 00:12:19

was now working in fashion. Doing, you know, when I learned

Misha Vayner: 00:12:25

this, and I at this point was fascinated. And to give context,

Misha Vayner: 00:12:29

this was about 2011, I think, or maybe it was 2012. And this was

Misha Vayner: 00:12:35

even before, I mean, Paleo wasn't a thing. And I remember

Misha Vayner: 00:12:40

being fascinated by like, the fact that I didn't know this and

Misha Vayner: 00:12:44

feeling like, every woman needs to know this. Because how is it

Misha Vayner: 00:12:48

that I've been torturing myself, and working out more like, I

Misha Vayner: 00:12:53

couldn't believe even the things that he was telling me that

Misha Vayner: 00:12:55

like, I needed to stop working out. And all of a sudden, the

Misha Vayner: 00:12:58

weight, you know, came off. So I first was like, I need to

Misha Vayner: 00:13:01

understand everything that's happening in my body. Because

Misha Vayner: 00:13:04

for also, functional medicine is expensive. And I was like I want

Misha Vayner: 00:13:08

to, and I wanted to also be empowered, I kept going to other

Misha Vayner: 00:13:12

people. And I'd spent a year and a half, asking other people

Misha Vayner: 00:13:16

things. And I was like, I want to know, so that I have the

Misha Vayner: 00:13:19

tools and I feel empowered to like, figure out what I need to

Misha Vayner: 00:13:23

support like, so while I was,

Unknown: 00:13:26

you know, working and had this little one, and that

Unknown: 00:13:31

was pregnant. I went to school at IIM Institute of Integrative

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Nutrition. And over the course of, you know, basically that

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next two years, I had now had gotten, I had basically had

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three kids in three and a half years. And it was very much as

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three steps forward two steps back process, because of, you

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know, the fact that I was having all these children and still

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working, and I kept every time I would heal a little bit, I would

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get diagnosed with another stress related issue. And I

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might I was going to a Buddhist meditation center, I was doing

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yoga. I was I mean, I was reading like, you know, I was

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doing all the things quote, unquote, and I kept feeling that

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I was stuck. And I was even though there I was stuck in a

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certain level of my ability to move forward and my physical

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health, my mental and emotional and spiritual health are stuck

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at a level and I was also deeply unfulfilled and not really

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feeling in sync with my, my, my purpose, my my, my desires in my

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marriage, like there was this, there was a stuckness and

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finally I just I kept feeling frustrated. And after I kept

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after maybe I don't know the sixth time they diagnosed me

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after like kicking and screaming and being like, I'm not stressed

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I'm not stressed. I finally was like, maybe there's something to

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look at here and maybe I need to look at like what is causing the

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stress So, so then I started to like, get curious. And I started

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to observe my thoughts. And I definitely did have this part of

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me that was like, There's no way a working mom of three cannot be

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stressed. Like, what are they? You know what I mean? Like,

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like, why am I even doing it, but I was also a part of me

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determined to like, figure this out, because I was like, I can't

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live like this. So I started to get curious. And I started to

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start to observe my thoughts and myself. And this is when I

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started to realize that like, Oh, my God, it's not that I had

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too many carpools, it's stressing me out what it is, is,

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when I'm realizing that I have, for example, the carpool, it's

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mom, that carpool itself is neutral, but it's my experience

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that I'm bringing to it. I'm stressing out that I told too

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many people, I give their kids a ride home, and I'd have the

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time, but I'm worried about like, the way I look, I feel

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like I don't have enough time for blah, blah, blah, I didn't

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manage my my expectation. Like all I'm ripping myself apart

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about being like a bad mom and not having things in a certain

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way. It was my perfectionism, it was my people pleasing. It was

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my kin over controlling. It was my, my lack of self trust. It

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was all of these parts of myself, it was my mind and my

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my, my disconnection from myself, that was causing the

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trauma, which was cogent sorry, which was causing the stress in

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my body, which was causing all of these physical ailments. And

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so now I thought to myself, Oh, my God, like, I'm sitting here

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taking 70 million supplements, and doing all these things to

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try to heal my body. But I'm only ever able to get so far,

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because that's like painting the leaf of the green, the brown

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we've seen, it's actually not fixing the root of the problem,

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which is the fact that I'm going to continue to be in this stress

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response, painting the leaves if I will actually heal my

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relation. So that's what I discovered trauma healing,

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because I didn't know where the what I knew, because I was so

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self aware. And I've done so much like exploration on

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personal development, I was able to recognize this isn't my true

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self, that much I knew and that I said to myself, This is my

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disconnect from myself. And if I'm disconnected from myself,

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this is definitely causing misalignment in my body, because

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my mind and my body are doing two different things. And

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there's obviously this is causing the anarchy within. But

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I didn't know for sure, from a scientific standpoint, that this

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was true. But my intuition was telling me I just knew, so I

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followed this and started to, you know, I started working with

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the therapist, and started to understand more about what

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trauma healing was. And what I learned eventually was that,

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like, trauma is our disconnect from our sense of self. That's

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exactly what it is, essentially, we come into this world fully

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expressed, you know, fully connected to our truth, fully,

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you know, whole. And over the first seven years of our life,

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we're actually in a hypnotic state where all the messaging

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that we receive from our caregivers and from the world,

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essentially, is the messaging that we take on, and what we

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start to absorb as our own beliefs. We often there's also

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certain ways of which our needs need to be met by our

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caregivers, and if those needs are either not met or violated

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that can cause trauma. And essentially, what happens is,

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throughout our childhood, and throughout our lives, when we're

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receiving certain messages that are even well intentioned

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messages, and I'll give some examples there that are

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basically disconnect us from ourselves. So here's an example.

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I'll actually just break it down sort of speaking so like,

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loosely, if, for example, as in childhood, we're told, like,

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from a well intentioned place, we're being messy, we're playing

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with paint, we're being like our happy joyful selves and our cars

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don't make a mess, clean up, like you're making it like, we

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start, we start to feel we're getting shamed for it. We're

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getting yelled at for it. We start to feel this shame around

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being messy. And so then we start to realize, okay, let me

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cut that part off of myself. This is like an exile, we cut

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that part off of ourselves. And say, there's too much shame

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around that and this is my caregiver. This is the person

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that I get needed love, safety and belonging and acceptance

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from this is a person that's giving me food and shelter. I

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need to I need to do what's going to help me attach to them

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to cut that part off of myself. And I'm going to become, for

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example, a perfectionist I develop a coping mechanism, a

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self protection pattern that helps me like, you know, feel

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safe because it feels safer. And I cut that part about myself.

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And this is essentially also then keeping us safe in the

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situation, but we're abandoning ourselves and we're causing a

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disconnect. And then it causes this pattern pattern, which

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causes also a chronic stress response within our bodies,

Unknown: 00:20:13

which then has this ripple. So all of these parts of ourselves

Unknown: 00:20:17

that we cut off well intentioned or not, where we receive these

Unknown: 00:20:21

messages that created shame, and then we, we cut that part off,

Unknown: 00:20:25

we have all these fragmented parts of ourselves, which are

Unknown: 00:20:28

essentially causing us one to be in these behavior patterns, that

Unknown: 00:20:33

are self sabotaging behavior patterns, also causing a chronic

Unknown: 00:20:37

stress response. Also, what are the foundation of what is

Unknown: 00:20:41

causing the gut issues, and the physical health issues and the

Unknown: 00:20:45

things and the mental, emotional, all of these issues

Unknown: 00:20:47

were experiencing. And when I realized that I was just like,

Unknown: 00:20:52

floored, because I realized that the root of our healing is our

Unknown: 00:20:58

connection with ourself. And I, I found that to be actually what

Unknown: 00:21:04

I what I also realized was that, it's so much easier than we let

Unknown: 00:21:11

it be. Because when we allow ourselves to do the inner

Unknown: 00:21:14

healing, and come home to ourselves, and let the rest

Unknown: 00:21:17

ripple out, because if we're healing our relationship with

Unknown: 00:21:20

ourselves, and that's releasing the stress, our hormones are

Unknown: 00:21:23

imbalanced, our metabolism is balanced, or we're naturally

Unknown: 00:21:25

have energy, we naturally go into sleep as the sun goes down,

Unknown: 00:21:28

we're naturally craving Whole Foods, it's a natural effect.

Unknown: 00:21:32

From that place, we don't have to constantly be, you know,

Unknown: 00:21:37

searching externally for answers and joining the different diets

Unknown: 00:21:40

and all the things it can just be in this place of self trust,

Unknown: 00:21:46

and knowing our bodies are listening to their wisdom and

Unknown: 00:21:49

letting them guide us. And so really, I know this is the

Unknown: 00:21:54

longest winded answer, but like, really, by, you know, it started

Unknown: 00:21:59

from that moment. And then I kind of as I went deeper into

Unknown: 00:22:03

my, as I started to understand it was trauma healing, I went

Unknown: 00:22:06

really deep into going back into my healing journey, and healing

Unknown: 00:22:12

each and every part of myself. And now, yeah, and so that's

Unknown: 00:22:17

kind of like where it started.

Maureen Spielman: 00:22:20

So it's a really amazing story. Misha,

Maureen Spielman: 00:22:23

thank you so much for all of that. And I can, I can hear from

Maureen Spielman: 00:22:28

just the cap, the cascade of things that were happening in

Maureen Spielman: 00:22:31

your life. And all on the outer, you know, even when you became

Maureen Spielman: 00:22:36

pregnant, and then became not well, and then you pulled in all

Maureen Spielman: 00:22:40

the specialists that they were going to have the answer and

Maureen Spielman: 00:22:43

they're going to this one's going to have the answer. And

Maureen Spielman: 00:22:44

that's what we're searching for. Because that's also what we're

Maureen Spielman: 00:22:47

trained to search for that someone else has the answer. And

Maureen Spielman: 00:22:51

I think it's beautiful, the way that unfolded for you, because

Maureen Spielman: 00:22:55

despite having to go through all those painful times, it led you

Maureen Spielman: 00:23:00

even, it seems with the training you chose for yourself at ai n.

Maureen Spielman: 00:23:06

Again, we're going to learn these outer things that that

Maureen Spielman: 00:23:09

lead you to Well, wait a minute, wait a minute, what's underneath

Maureen Spielman: 00:23:13

what's inside me? Maybe the answers are within me. And it's

Maureen Spielman: 00:23:17

and then that leads you to be able to embody it. And yeah, so

Maureen Spielman: 00:23:22

what have been, thanks for sharing everything. First of

Maureen Spielman: 00:23:26

all, I wonder for you, when you started to then relate to

Maureen Spielman: 00:23:32

yourself in a different way and ask yourself the questions that

Maureen Spielman: 00:23:35

what what's, you know, what ways did I show up in my survival

Maureen Spielman: 00:23:39

self and, and what is emerging beneath me were their favorite

Maureen Spielman: 00:23:44

ways of yours that helped you uncover the trauma within or

Maureen Spielman: 00:23:49

the, the, the, the experiences that needed to be re parented

Maureen Spielman: 00:23:55

those parts of you what like, what, what was really integral

Maureen Spielman: 00:23:59

to your healing?

Unknown: 00:24:01

Yeah, so you know, I think so just I'll start simply,

Unknown: 00:24:07

and then I'll so I initially, I feel like I started with like I

Unknown: 00:24:12

was dealing with, like, such massive things at the moment. So

Unknown: 00:24:15

I dealt with, like present day at the moment where I was just

Unknown: 00:24:17

like, how do I get out of this place and start to, I think the

Unknown: 00:24:24

biggest thing was initially was like, starting to build self and

Unknown: 00:24:31

body awareness so that I could start to identify what was

Unknown: 00:24:37

coming up, and then how to meet myself there. But I think the

Unknown: 00:24:41

really beautiful thing that I've realized and I'll go back to

Unknown: 00:24:45

specifically what that looks like and how to do it if that's

Unknown: 00:24:48

helpful to the listeners, but what I think is really, really,

Unknown: 00:24:53

really fascinating and really cool about trauma healing is

Unknown: 00:24:57

that once you understand it, and you start to apply it. It's like

Unknown: 00:25:02

this insane compounding effect. Because, you know, while the

Unknown: 00:25:08

wins I experienced year after year have been exponential, even

Unknown: 00:25:13

today, like, now it's like when the because because I have this

Unknown: 00:25:20

level of awareness, I'm able to continuously heal and expand

Unknown: 00:25:23

into versions of myself that, you know, it's almost like

Unknown: 00:25:27

becoming a superhero. And I know it sounds crazy, but it's

Unknown: 00:25:30

actually true. And it's built, it's helped me see this

Unknown: 00:25:33

awareness that we all are really like these little superheroes

Unknown: 00:25:36

running around. And so what was really helpful to me was like,

Unknown: 00:25:41

knowing firstly, that like, all the parts of ourselves, even the

Unknown: 00:25:46

wounded parts of ourselves, like, get to are welcome here

Unknown: 00:25:53

and at the table and like first meeting them with like, love and

Unknown: 00:25:56

compassion and not shame and building the awareness to have

Unknown: 00:26:01

an observer voice or observer sort of hat on so to speak. And

Unknown: 00:26:06

being able to when those parts of ourselves come up, sort of

Unknown: 00:26:10

like, acknowledging and seeing them and then started to get

Unknown: 00:26:14

curious around, okay, first, what what physical sensations

Unknown: 00:26:19

are happening in my body, when I'm, when I'm activated when

Unknown: 00:26:24

this trigger comes up. And because even just that awareness

Unknown: 00:26:28

is 50% of the healing, and when you have that awareness, you're

Unknown: 00:26:32

able to associate it with like, oh, this thing that's happening,

Unknown: 00:26:37

it's actually not about this person, what they said, This is

Unknown: 00:26:39

my own thing, because I know this feeling. And I've been here

Unknown: 00:26:42

before, so let me actually pause and not react, and like, like

Unknown: 00:26:46

you were saying, reparent myself and then come back to this

Unknown: 00:26:50

person later. But if you don't have that awareness, you can be

Unknown: 00:26:52

in a you can respond to life and situations from a trauma

Unknown: 00:26:57

response, which is going to put you back in that cycle. So

Unknown: 00:27:00

awareness is the first piece body awareness, then from there,

Unknown: 00:27:05

recognizing what feelings and sensations come up, during that

Unknown: 00:27:11

time of that trigger, like specifically what feelings like

Unknown: 00:27:15

for I'll give an example for me, you know, that I think maybe a

Unknown: 00:27:18

lot of people can relate to, you know, I have like, for a long

Unknown: 00:27:22

time, I had like a girlfriend sisterhood wound. Because I

Unknown: 00:27:26

guess during childhood, there were certain circumstances where

Unknown: 00:27:29

I'd be a part of the group, and then I'd like be kicked out of

Unknown: 00:27:31

the group or like, whatever. And so as I grew up, I like started

Unknown: 00:27:35

to like, not like being in groups. And you know, and so, I

Unknown: 00:27:40

started to notice that like, if, you know, I, in fact, I started

Unknown: 00:27:44

to notice that I would get this like level of discomfort in my

Unknown: 00:27:47

body if there was a group. And I started to notice, even like,

Unknown: 00:27:51

with my parenting that like, My daughter, one time, I noticed

Unknown: 00:27:56

that like a bunch of her friends were dressed up as something for

Unknown: 00:27:58

Halloween, and I knew she was coming. And I knew she wasn't

Unknown: 00:28:00

invited to dress up as that. And I had this insane response in my

Unknown: 00:28:04

body, like on behalf of my daughter for not being included.

Unknown: 00:28:08

And I was taking over and I knew this is your own thing, because

Unknown: 00:28:13

when my daughter came, she literally didn't care. She was

Unknown: 00:28:16

like five and her other costume. But having that awareness, if I

Unknown: 00:28:20

didn't have that awareness, there might have been a part of

Unknown: 00:28:22

me that like, who knows, might have been like, hey, like, why

Unknown: 00:28:25

wasn't so and so invited, I might have responded, but

Unknown: 00:28:29

knowing that this isn't about them, this is about my own

Unknown: 00:28:31

thing. So noticing that, and then which feelings come up for

Unknown: 00:28:37

me, like for me, it's like shame or whatever. And then after

Unknown: 00:28:41

that, meeting yourself and asking yourself, what, what do I

Unknown: 00:28:46

need to do to meet that part of myself, and as you said, repair

Unknown: 00:28:51

it and and heal that part. So, you know, repair is what repair

Unknown: 00:28:57

and repairing is what heals a trauma response. Because if you

Unknown: 00:29:01

think about a child, that's like, really upset if the kid

Unknown: 00:29:04

was just sitting there crying and no one with you can't go

Unknown: 00:29:07

over to the kid and you hug them and you leave them with

Unknown: 00:29:09

resonance, and you tell them it's okay, I hear you. It's

Unknown: 00:29:12

okay. I love you're still loved, you're still cared for, I'm

Unknown: 00:29:15

sorry, that happened that sticks. They start to their

Unknown: 00:29:19

stressors, but they their body relaxes, you'll see they get

Unknown: 00:29:22

that resonance, and they're able to complete the stress response.

Unknown: 00:29:25

But if they don't have that, there, it you know, there's this

Unknown: 00:29:29

hyper vigilance, there's this energy, there's a stress that

Unknown: 00:29:32

maintains in the body, and that stays in the body and stress

Unknown: 00:29:35

response can't be completed and it develops into trauma. So as

Unknown: 00:29:39

an adult, when we feel a stress response, we feel a trauma

Unknown: 00:29:42

response. It's important that we complete it and when it's rooted

Unknown: 00:29:47

in something that happened from childhood, which it typically

Unknown: 00:29:50

always have sort of root. When we can ask ourselves like, where

Unknown: 00:29:54

what is Where's this coming from? Like, for example, in that

Unknown: 00:29:58

case with a friend, you know, with me feeling that way, it

Unknown: 00:30:01

might be how do I meet this part of myself, I might be like, I

Unknown: 00:30:04

need to call one of my best friends and have them remind me

Unknown: 00:30:06

that I'm like loved and seen, it might be that I need to just cry

Unknown: 00:30:09

to my mom and be hugged and might mean that I need to go for

Unknown: 00:30:12

a run and move my body, it might be that I want to, like,

Unknown: 00:30:16

sometimes I literally have to, like, get under my gravity

Unknown: 00:30:19

blanket and be really tight, like I'm in the womb, like,

Unknown: 00:30:21

there's, you know, sometimes, you know, there's various

Unknown: 00:30:24

different things that sometimes you want to take a bath,

Unknown: 00:30:26

sometimes, whatever, there's, you know, they're all different

Unknown: 00:30:30

things that you could box breathing, but the point is, is

Unknown: 00:30:33

really recognizing what part of your self is needing to be seen

Unknown: 00:30:40

and witnessed and loved. And so in that moment, and then when

Unknown: 00:30:44

you can meet yourself there, and do that if I could call a friend

Unknown: 00:30:48

or and have that person be like, remind me of my worth, and tell

Unknown: 00:30:51

me that they loved me. And I get that like,

Unknown: 00:30:55

oh, yeah,

Unknown: 00:30:56

I will see it. And then what happens is, I now have new

Unknown: 00:31:01

evidence in my body, my body is now like, oh, like, you are

Unknown: 00:31:07

seeing and loved you, you you aren't, you know, you aren't

Unknown: 00:31:11

like, sort of exile by women, whatever it is, you do, you do

Unknown: 00:31:16

have that and then it starts to create spaciousness in my body.

Unknown: 00:31:21

And I have more and more capacity, more energy, and

Unknown: 00:31:25

releasing that stress response. And little by little, so I think

Unknown: 00:31:29

understanding that practice of, you know, this four steps of

Unknown: 00:31:33

building awareness, self and body awareness, recognizing the

Unknown: 00:31:37

feelings, asking yourself, what needs you need to be needs, what

Unknown: 00:31:41

needs to be met for your inner child, and then actually

Unknown: 00:31:43

executing on that. Which, because sometimes you might be

Unknown: 00:31:47

somewhere and you can't do it, but knowing Okay, when I get

Unknown: 00:31:50

home, if I'm like, at the grocery store, and I get home,

Unknown: 00:31:52

I'm gonna do something that is that's been really

Unknown: 00:31:58

transformational for me. And, and I can, you know, it's

Unknown: 00:32:02

important to note that it can take place over, you know,

Unknown: 00:32:06

extended period of time, sometimes you when you're in

Unknown: 00:32:10

like, a fond trauma response, a people pleasing, it often takes

Unknown: 00:32:14

place, sometimes it takes place for like weeks, where you're

Unknown: 00:32:18

noticing that, you know, you did something and it's still within

Unknown: 00:32:22

you is spawning will stay with you from the moment, you know,

Unknown: 00:32:26

you've been aware of it till you actually exit it, even if the

Unknown: 00:32:30

conversation was like one conversation one day, until you

Unknown: 00:32:34

actually recognize what's happening in your body and meet

Unknown: 00:32:37

new

Maureen Spielman: 00:32:37

people. So yeah, and that's a beautiful

Maureen Spielman: 00:32:40

four step kind of awareness to implementing new ways within

Maureen Spielman: 00:32:45

yourself, when you were talking about the experiences you had as

Maureen Spielman: 00:32:49

a young girl, young woman with women. That's interesting to me.

Maureen Spielman: 00:32:53

Because the ways that we perceive things and the things

Maureen Spielman: 00:32:56

that we take on, based on how we were raised, or what we were

Maureen Spielman: 00:32:59

exposed to, like, through like institutions, let's say they

Maureen Spielman: 00:33:04

keep us so disconnected. And then that to me, is speaking to

Maureen Spielman: 00:33:08

that disconnection. And it's no wonder that we develop that

Maureen Spielman: 00:33:12

disconnection within. And then so what I'm hearing as part of

Maureen Spielman: 00:33:16

your you like rheb, RI being with yourself in a new way,

Maureen Spielman: 00:33:20

repeating yourself, giving yourself compassion and

Maureen Spielman: 00:33:23

understanding is that you're building the connection. And

Maureen Spielman: 00:33:27

then you said that we're spaciousness and expansion and,

Maureen Spielman: 00:33:31

and that's what connection feels like. Because it's an energy and

Maureen Spielman: 00:33:34

the energy of disconnection. I'm just thinking out loud, but it's

Maureen Spielman: 00:33:38

it's not surprising, either, that if we're feeling so much

Maureen Spielman: 00:33:42

disconnection from our true, authentic self, our body is

Maureen Spielman: 00:33:46

going to possibly malfunction on us or Yeah, you know, yeah.

Unknown: 00:33:52

100% We definitely. I think you're absolutely right. I

Unknown: 00:33:57

think that's also why in the pandemic, I feel like it's got

Unknown: 00:34:01

so much worse or so much more disconnection. And I think, you

Unknown: 00:34:04

know, we are one we actually all are one, we're all energy, we're

Unknown: 00:34:09

all connected. And it's this, you know, for better or for

Unknown: 00:34:13

worse, like modern day life has really separated us and

Unknown: 00:34:16

disconnected us and especially, you know, now after the

Unknown: 00:34:19

pandemic, and I think the more that we can, can, that the

Unknown: 00:34:22

biggest thing that will help build connection with others is

Unknown: 00:34:26

vulnerability, and that and I and then being able to and I

Unknown: 00:34:30

think that that's one of the things that the more I would

Unknown: 00:34:34

love for it to see more and more people just get comfortable, you

Unknown: 00:34:37

know, being their authentic self. I think that the more that

Unknown: 00:34:41

people are doing that, that helps build connection and

Unknown: 00:34:43

trust, too. You're absolutely right, is how we've been as

Unknown: 00:34:49

women in particular, we've been sort of in a culture where, you

Unknown: 00:34:53

know, if someone looks so you know, takes up space or is

Unknown: 00:34:57

really like confident they're too like big for their britches.

Unknown: 00:35:00

Isn't they you need to knock them down. And I think really

Unknown: 00:35:02

being able to celebrate each other and also hold each other

Unknown: 00:35:06

in our, in our staff is really important. Yeah, I

Maureen Spielman: 00:35:11

do too. I like the way you were saying too

Maureen Spielman: 00:35:13

about the parts of us because it's so important that even if

Maureen Spielman: 00:35:17

we see, we catch ourselves in a pattern ourselves of judging

Maureen Spielman: 00:35:22

something, or someone, it's like, well take that part of you

Maureen Spielman: 00:35:26

and in and give it a hug. It's there for a reason, it developed

Maureen Spielman: 00:35:31

for a reason, and it kept us or that that beautiful light inside

Maureen Spielman: 00:35:35

of us safe in some way. But it's not serving us anymore. But just

Maureen Spielman: 00:35:38

to, I think you said something about the table, but welcomed at

Maureen Spielman: 00:35:42

the table with the perfectionist and the and the overdue or, and

Maureen Spielman: 00:35:46

the people pleaser, and the lazy one, or like all these things

Maureen Spielman: 00:35:51

that we started, you know, being that we're never truly

Maureen Spielman: 00:35:55

ourselves. So welcome them. Yeah,

Unknown: 00:35:58

yes, I think was an Oprah I want to say it was Oprah

Unknown: 00:36:02

aside, or maybe it was someone else, I think it was her that

Unknown: 00:36:05

said like, the way she you know, if she has, it's like, as if

Unknown: 00:36:09

they're all at a dinner table at the dinner, you know, everyone's

Unknown: 00:36:11

at dinner table. But she you're not going to put they can all be

Unknown: 00:36:15

at the table, but they're not at the head of the table. So like

Unknown: 00:36:19

you can, the way that I like you know, so it's kind of like

Unknown: 00:36:22

you're not gonna, I guess the way that I like to see it is

Unknown: 00:36:25

like, if I'm driving, I'm not gonna let them drive the car,

Unknown: 00:36:29

they can be in my car. But I know my true self will still

Unknown: 00:36:32

drive, but I can like stay in the backseat. Yes, this

Unknown: 00:36:35

yesterday morning. I had no desire to go to the gym in any

Unknown: 00:36:40

stretch of my image. I was just like, not in the mood. But I

Unknown: 00:36:44

knew that my highest self would be happiest my future self would

Unknown: 00:36:50

be happiest if I went, I knew that it was for my highest good,

Unknown: 00:36:53

I knew that I'd made a commitment to myself, I knew

Unknown: 00:36:55

that I was absolutely capable that it was just my like

Unknown: 00:36:58

nonsense getting in the way. So I heard my mind telling me

Unknown: 00:37:02

everything. And I was like, you can be there, it's okay. But

Unknown: 00:37:05

like, I'm not gonna listen to you like I'm going. And I think

Unknown: 00:37:08

that it's to your point like they can be there, you don't

Unknown: 00:37:11

have to get mad at them. But just don't let them drive your

Unknown: 00:37:14

car or something.

Maureen Spielman: 00:37:16

And they used to and, and until they didn't

Maureen Spielman: 00:37:19

work anymore. And I do believe that. I know that when I sat in

Maureen Spielman: 00:37:25

my conscious parenting training with Dr. Shefali, she would talk

Maureen Spielman: 00:37:28

about most of the women who went to do their training were in

Maureen Spielman: 00:37:31

their 40s and 50s. Because just we're starting to wake up and

Maureen Spielman: 00:37:35

we're starting to pay attention, like something is misaligned

Maureen Spielman: 00:37:38

within me. And she'll say, sometimes someone pops up in

Maureen Spielman: 00:37:43

their 20s. And she's like, wow, but I think that, like you're

Maureen Spielman: 00:37:46

saying the more conversations we're having like this the the

Maureen Spielman: 00:37:49

vulnerability where we feel safe, it creates more safety,

Maureen Spielman: 00:37:55

and the work that we do within ourselves. It's creating the

Maureen Spielman: 00:38:00

safety within our own relationships, but then it's

Maureen Spielman: 00:38:03

also giving the other permission to come into that safe realm.

Maureen Spielman: 00:38:07

And if we can, I don't know if I'm saying that well, but I just

Maureen Spielman: 00:38:11

feel like this is the call now. And let's let's share Let's

Maureen Spielman: 00:38:16

Let's be together, let's teach each other, let's learn from

Maureen Spielman: 00:38:20

each other, let's be in community, whatever it does have

Maureen Spielman: 00:38:24

the wide open big conversations.

Unknown: 00:38:26

Yes, I totally agree. Because if, if one person, if

Unknown: 00:38:30

you're closed off, if one person is closed off, you actually

Unknown: 00:38:33

can't connect, if you're so in that naturally, just to your

Unknown: 00:38:36

point that then doesn't allow for healing connection is

Unknown: 00:38:40

healing both within and with others. And so the more that we

Unknown: 00:38:44

can all, like, let our guards down and be to your point, like

Unknown: 00:38:47

if we're being similar to what you were saying about the parts

Unknown: 00:38:50

of ourselves of being accepting of them and letting them at the

Unknown: 00:38:53

table for ourselves doing that with other people as well. Like

Unknown: 00:38:56

every, we all have our own wounds. And if we see it come up

Unknown: 00:38:59

with somebody else, or someone else does something, even

Unknown: 00:39:01

unintentionally or intentionally harmful to us being able to see

Unknown: 00:39:05

it instead of you know, see it from a place of them potentially

Unknown: 00:39:10

working through their own stuff, then not being you know, being

Unknown: 00:39:13

compassionate. And from that place, you can actually have an

Unknown: 00:39:16

honest conversation and talk about it. And in fact, I've had

Unknown: 00:39:20

some really powerful and healing deeply healing conversations

Unknown: 00:39:24

with people that you know, we've had Miss, you know,

Unknown: 00:39:29

unintentionally hurt each other's feelings and been able

Unknown: 00:39:32

to both show up with open minds and open hearts and heal it and

Unknown: 00:39:36

and it was and from having those discussions our own healing just

Unknown: 00:39:41

was so dry, so dramatically expansive because it's like oh

Unknown: 00:39:45

my god, I can say my truth in this situation and not and and

Unknown: 00:39:49

be heard and you know, I think that is how the the big healing

Unknown: 00:39:55

will happen. So for the people to end but you do you do have to

Unknown: 00:39:59

be A certain level of self aware and regulated in order to be in

Unknown: 00:40:04

those conversations. So allowing yourself so really doing this

Unknown: 00:40:08

work is such a is a courageous commitment.

Maureen Spielman: 00:40:13

Yeah. Yeah. And I, you said something

Maureen Spielman: 00:40:15

earlier, I don't remember exactly what but this idea that

Maureen Spielman: 00:40:18

it's for all of us that were some some people might project

Maureen Spielman: 00:40:26

on to you Oh, this is so before hearing your story. Oh, gosh,

Maureen Spielman: 00:40:30

look at me, she's out there, she can show up, you know, with

Maureen Spielman: 00:40:33

friends with her clients on social media with her family so

Maureen Spielman: 00:40:37

exuberantly. But just to know, when we witnessed that we're all

Maureen Spielman: 00:40:42

we're all doing the work. I mean, and we take those little

Maureen Spielman: 00:40:46

steps to prove to ourselves that we're safe, like, we are

Maureen Spielman: 00:40:49

internally safe. I've done many things. As I've built my

Maureen Spielman: 00:40:54

business. I mean, I'll tell you two years ago, when I started an

Maureen Spielman: 00:40:56

Instagram, I didn't, that was not safe for me, I didn't feel

Maureen Spielman: 00:41:01

and it's still not my place. But as I am with myself, and I keep

Maureen Spielman: 00:41:09

on coming back to myself, like we're talking about this, this

Maureen Spielman: 00:41:12

inner dialogue, like, you're okay, you're safe, your voice is

Maureen Spielman: 00:41:16

worthy people, people might want to hear it, you know, you start

Maureen Spielman: 00:41:20

with those baby steps. And then you prove out to yourself like,

Maureen Spielman: 00:41:24

Oh, gee, the thing that I was scared of or fearful of, maybe

Maureen Spielman: 00:41:29

it's not true. And it's all that resistance we carry inside. But

Maureen Spielman: 00:41:33

the willingness, it's just begins, like you're saying, with

Maureen Spielman: 00:41:37

the willingness to connect to yourself, and start to be so

Maureen Spielman: 00:41:42

gentle and compassionate and be in a new way. It all just is

Maureen Spielman: 00:41:47

exponential. And then you're like, well, maybe I can, or

Maureen Spielman: 00:41:50

maybe, maybe if she can, I can. And I think forever, I would

Maureen Spielman: 00:41:54

hear people who were doing things say, I'm just like you,

Maureen Spielman: 00:41:59

and I and I would maybe project onto them. Now. That's not true.

Maureen Spielman: 00:42:03

They they're more outgoing. Are they this? Are they that but

Maureen Spielman: 00:42:06

now, I've proven to myself, Oh, that I know what they were

Maureen Spielman: 00:42:10

saying now. And that's what we're here for each other to

Maureen Spielman: 00:42:13

whatever it is that someone is seeking to heal, or bring alive

Maureen Spielman: 00:42:19

out into the world. We're here for them. You're here for them.

Maureen Spielman: 00:42:22

You know, it's like, I want to do this work with you.

Unknown: 00:42:25

Yes. Oh, my God, you said so many things, I wanted to

Unknown: 00:42:28

touch on what was like about the part of like, starting with a

Unknown: 00:42:30

small little thing. And then it getting easier and easier. And I

Unknown: 00:42:34

think that that's that is essentially trauma healing

Unknown: 00:42:37

because you're stretching into these growth. So you really by

Unknown: 00:42:41

having awareness of where it's uncomfortable, but knowing that

Unknown: 00:42:44

it's for you, and knowing that that's your truth. And stepping

Unknown: 00:42:46

into that growth edge and doing it a little bit by little by

Unknown: 00:42:49

being like loving to yourself, is you getting closer and closer

Unknown: 00:42:53

to healing that wound and expanding. And it is it is

Unknown: 00:42:58

really, really powerful and courageous. But it is possible

Unknown: 00:43:02

if you just start small. And it all starts with you noticing,

Unknown: 00:43:05

like, I want that thing. But I hear these stories in my head.

Unknown: 00:43:09

And knowing that like, these stories are not my truth. This

Unknown: 00:43:14

is and so I'm going to, I'm going to choose this one. And

Unknown: 00:43:17

I'm going to do it really carefully. And then that builds

Unknown: 00:43:21

evidence in our body when we do it that one time you do the live

Unknown: 00:43:25

on Instagram or you post the story and like you don't

Unknown: 00:43:27

actually die, nothing bad happens. And your body's like

Unknown: 00:43:30

body's like, oh, okay, create a new pattern. I can do this

Unknown: 00:43:35

again. And again and again. So that's so cool. And then the

Unknown: 00:43:38

other thing that you were saying about people reflecting back to

Unknown: 00:43:43

you, you know, you seeing like, oh, I want that I want that,

Unknown: 00:43:46

like I think that's so important to hear. Because it's so easy

Unknown: 00:43:50

for us to like, see things and then go into shame spirals of

Unknown: 00:43:54

like jealousy and feeling like we don't have it or we're not

Unknown: 00:43:57

good enough and but by seeing other people live things out

Unknown: 00:44:01

that spark something inside of you actually looking at it as

Unknown: 00:44:06

like what is what is the what desire of my own? Is that

Unknown: 00:44:11

revealing to me, because now I get to like thank that person

Unknown: 00:44:15

and now I can figure out how I can call that into it's just

Unknown: 00:44:19

trying to show you and also having compassion for the part

Unknown: 00:44:22

of yourself that does feel like a little brat like because she's

Unknown: 00:44:25

okay too. Because she's human.

Maureen Spielman: 00:44:29

Absolutely. It's such a good tie in

Maureen Spielman: 00:44:32

together. I want to ask you a question before we go towards

Maureen Spielman: 00:44:36

the end of our interview. I know that there are so many people

Maureen Spielman: 00:44:41

and you don't have to be a mother with young children to

Maureen Spielman: 00:44:45

feel exhausted. Yeah, I think exhaustion is something that's

Maureen Spielman: 00:44:50

pervasive in our culture. Life is busy. You know a lot of

Maureen Spielman: 00:44:55

people are working outside of the home taking care of children

Maureen Spielman: 00:44:58

even if you're in If you don't have kids, there can be a

Maureen Spielman: 00:45:02

tendency to be doing a lot. But with the work that you do, how I

Maureen Spielman: 00:45:08

don't think it takes a lot of time to rejuvenate ourselves to,

Maureen Spielman: 00:45:14

to almost like replenish and nourish in order to meet the

Maureen Spielman: 00:45:18

next day or two, almost like I'm going to suggest, like, feel

Maureen Spielman: 00:45:22

less exhausted. And have you found that it is in these

Maureen Spielman: 00:45:26

personal practices of maybe, maybe you don't even need a ton

Maureen Spielman: 00:45:31

of time. But by coming to yourself, like, Can you say a

Maureen Spielman: 00:45:36

little bit about that, or how you view that and how that can

Maureen Spielman: 00:45:39

help the exhausted listener or if they have someone exhausted

Maureen Spielman: 00:45:43

in their lives, because people tend to think that this takes a

Maureen Spielman: 00:45:47

lot of time,

Unknown: 00:45:48

ya know, so I think their productivity wound and

Unknown: 00:45:51

like that, needing to hustle and overdo it and go, go go is like

Unknown: 00:45:56

so. So, so deeply ingrained in us and like modern America, for

Unknown: 00:46:01

sure, in a patriarchal society, and like, where we've literally

Unknown: 00:46:06

been conditioned to have to produce and work and constantly

Unknown: 00:46:11

go and have these crazy, you know, standards of which to

Unknown: 00:46:16

work. I mean, there are other countries, they take siestas,

Unknown: 00:46:19

and they like, you know, they're just much different

Unknown: 00:46:21

environments. It's really intense here. And so it's, it's

Unknown: 00:46:25

a lot of obviously, like immigrants that have moved here.

Unknown: 00:46:28

And so the kids grow up feeling like they need to like work,

Unknown: 00:46:31

work work, and I'm one of them. And so it really draws this

Unknown: 00:46:35

connection around productivity and worthiness and there becomes

Unknown: 00:46:39

this lack of safety in our body if we feel like we need to, like

Unknown: 00:46:42

rest or throw our feet up or, or, you know, watch TV for a

Unknown: 00:46:46

little bit. Like I remember at one point I used to like when I

Unknown: 00:46:49

started even working for myself asking my husband like, is it

Unknown: 00:46:52

okay, if I watch TV a little bit, like I felt like I needed

Unknown: 00:46:55

permission, like, and then I'd feel so dysregulated and guilty

Unknown: 00:46:59

afterwards. It's really and so first, I just want to normalize

Unknown: 00:47:04

the fact that if you feel that, it's so, so common, and also

Unknown: 00:47:09

from that, first, I want to just address that, like, if you feel

Unknown: 00:47:13

that healing, that wound will be the most time saving and

Unknown: 00:47:20

productive and transformational thing that you can do for

Unknown: 00:47:23

yourself. And what I would recommend in that way is to

Unknown: 00:47:26

like, literally start small by allowing yourself to like, like,

Unknown: 00:47:32

if you feel guilty, here's an example. One of my friends was

Unknown: 00:47:36

telling me she felt felt guilty, like going to get her she worked

Unknown: 00:47:39

for somebody else going to get her nails done during her lunch

Unknown: 00:47:41

break, one week or whatever. And I said to her, I was like, you

Unknown: 00:47:45

have to look at like the fact that you getting your nails done

Unknown: 00:47:48

during your lunch break as part of your work. Because by you

Unknown: 00:47:50

doing that you're able to feel better about yourself and show

Unknown: 00:47:53

up differently for work. And it feels uncomfortable, but like do

Unknown: 00:47:57

it. And again, like we were talking about creating that

Unknown: 00:48:00

evidence and realize everything's still functioning,

Unknown: 00:48:02

everything's fine. And so do start small, like by allowing

Unknown: 00:48:06

yourself like a small thing, like a 15 minute, like walk

Unknown: 00:48:09

around 10 minute walk around the blog, whatever, when you feel

Unknown: 00:48:12

like you shouldn't, and really try to breathe, the parts of

Unknown: 00:48:17

yourself are gonna come I need to run back, I need to get to my

Unknown: 00:48:19

computer, Perris remind your body, I am safe, everything's be

Unknown: 00:48:23

okay, recognize that part of yourself that's coming up and

Unknown: 00:48:27

continue to like we were saying stretch into that edge of taking

Unknown: 00:48:31

that 10 minute walk even when it feels uncomfortable. And over

Unknown: 00:48:34

time, it'll get easier. And you'll start to actually have

Unknown: 00:48:37

more energy and capacity to give to your work or to your kids or

Unknown: 00:48:41

to your life that will actually offset all of the energy you're

Unknown: 00:48:44

draining for trying to overwork but you're actually not properly

Unknown: 00:48:48

fueled, and regulated. And then the so it's really and then the

Unknown: 00:48:52

other thing is so it really one of my point there is that it

Unknown: 00:48:56

benefits you and it benefits the whole ecosystem of whoever

Unknown: 00:48:59

you're working for or with or whatever. By doing that it's

Unknown: 00:49:03

actually adding to your you know, and then the other thing

Unknown: 00:49:06

is, you know, little things I would say I really like to do

Unknown: 00:49:12

this thing called energy buffers which is if you're going from

Unknown: 00:49:16

like work to home you know whenever we're say like in a

Unknown: 00:49:20

workplace or even if you're if you're a stay at home mom or if

Unknown: 00:49:23

you're wherever you are, that if you're out in the world or

Unknown: 00:49:27

connecting with people, you're absorbing energy all day from

Unknown: 00:49:31

inputs things, you're reading things or seeing other people

Unknown: 00:49:35

and even just if there's fast paced your your body is

Unknown: 00:49:38

absorbing it. And what if we don't like pause periodically by

Unknown: 00:49:43

pausing periodically throughout the day in between when we're

Unknown: 00:49:47

shifting, say from work to home, and just taking a two minute

Unknown: 00:49:52

like hand on heart hand on belly, taking a few breaths or

Unknown: 00:49:55

doing a little bit of a shake or doing some box breathing doing a

Unknown: 00:49:58

two minute insight time. or meditation, drinking some water,

Unknown: 00:50:02

but really just like literally consciously releasing everything

Unknown: 00:50:06

you've taken on from like, an accident, the day and then

Unknown: 00:50:11

walking into your house with the fresh energy and taking energy,

Unknown: 00:50:15

and then going into the grocery store, then what happens is by

Unknown: 00:50:18

the end of the day, you feel less exhausted and less burnt

Unknown: 00:50:21

out. Because typically, there's a combination of buildup of, you

Unknown: 00:50:24

know, you come home from work, you haven't released, and you're

Unknown: 00:50:27

exhausted. And then your husband says something to you, and you

Unknown: 00:50:30

haven't, like, come back into yourself, and you're built up

Unknown: 00:50:33

and filled up goes up, and then you snap at him, and you snap,

Unknown: 00:50:36

and you're you have it, you know, but if you just take a

Unknown: 00:50:38

minute, and you kind of like refuel throughout the day,

Unknown: 00:50:43

you'll feel a little bit better.

Maureen Spielman: 00:50:45

Yeah, yeah, that makes sense. And I feel

Maureen Spielman: 00:50:47

like I was just thinking, you know, if, if I feel exhausted,

Maureen Spielman: 00:50:52

just take it as a cue, you need to connect to yourself, period,

Maureen Spielman: 00:50:56

period, you don't need any more evidence than that, if you've

Maureen Spielman: 00:51:00

lost it, that's not something you said. It could be a whole

Maureen Spielman: 00:51:04

podcast, but just how often when I was a young girl or a teen, if

Maureen Spielman: 00:51:10

I wanted to take time for myself, or, or if I wanted to do

Maureen Spielman: 00:51:13

something that was authentically me. I felt like I had to feel

Maureen Spielman: 00:51:17

bad about it. Or like, like, if I was thinking about your friend

Maureen Spielman: 00:51:20

who wanted the manicure, it's like, on some level, we feel

Maureen Spielman: 00:51:24

like if I'm saying like, I feel bad about it, that is shame.

Maureen Spielman: 00:51:27

That is, right. And so that's a whole nother thing. But just I

Maureen Spielman: 00:51:32

loved our conversation today. There's just so much light shed

Maureen Spielman: 00:51:35

on so many areas of healing. So thank you for sharing your

Maureen Spielman: 00:51:39

story. Where can our listeners find your work? And how do you

Maureen Spielman: 00:51:43

work with people?

Unknown: 00:51:44

Yeah, thank you, I so enjoyed it as well. So best

Unknown: 00:51:49

place to find me is on Instagram at Misha Boehner. I also

Unknown: 00:51:54

obviously have a website, Misha vayner.com. And basically Misha

Unknown: 00:51:57

Boehner and all the places and I do coaching and events and

Unknown: 00:52:03

workshops. But the biggest thing is my glow and flow mastermind

Unknown: 00:52:07

is the best and most comprehensive and cost effective

Unknown: 00:52:12

way to work with me and the doors are open right now

Unknown: 00:52:15

actually. And it's a six month experience where I basically

Unknown: 00:52:19

take you from like disconnected and mind body, soul and life in

Unknown: 00:52:23

any part of you know, the spectrum to completely feeling

Unknown: 00:52:27

aligned, rejuvenated, deeply connected to yourself. And

Unknown: 00:52:31

living a life in flow to your body's natural rhythms and your

Unknown: 00:52:35

authentic truth is deeply transformational. The women that

Unknown: 00:52:40

have come through I mean have like, gone from like, fully

Unknown: 00:52:43

fully, like, you know, deaths and families, husbands going

Unknown: 00:52:48

blind, losing careers, going through divorces, like really,

Unknown: 00:52:52

really, really stressed out broken down to like, completely

Unknown: 00:52:57

starting afresh in ways that that stepping into part versions

Unknown: 00:53:01

of themselves. They never knew possible.

Maureen Spielman: 00:53:03

You want to get oh, yeah, yeah, that's good.

Maureen Spielman: 00:53:06

Good to know. Okay, so thank you, and thanks to the listeners

Maureen Spielman: 00:53:10

for being here. And as always share with a friend if you think

Maureen Spielman: 00:53:14

someone who could benefit but thanks, Misha. Thank you next

Maureen Spielman: 00:53:18

time. Thanks for listening to this episode of mystical

Maureen Spielman: 00:53:21

sisterhood. If you love what you heard, please visit Apple

Maureen Spielman: 00:53:25

podcasts and subscribe and leave a review and share with a friend

Maureen Spielman: 00:53:29

if you're called to do so. To learn more about my one on one

Maureen Spielman: 00:53:33

coaching programs, or join the mystical sisterhood membership,

Maureen Spielman: 00:53:37

visit Maureenspielman.com or mysticalsisterhood.com Thanks so