24: How To Show Up For Yourself With Janet Philbin

Maureen Spielman: 00:00:00

Hello and welcome back to mystical

Maureen Spielman: 00:00:02

sisterhood. This is your host, Maureen Spielman. And today I'm

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delighted to be sitting down with Janet Philbin. She's a

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licensed clinical social worker and a Certified Hypnotherapist.

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She's also a Certified Clinical trauma therapist and a conscious

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parenting coach. In fact, that's how I knew of Janet's work

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because she was my ambassador for my small group when I was in

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Dr. Shefali, safaris, conscious parenting Institute. So I knew

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of Janet I didn't know her well knew that she had written a book

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which I had bought called show up for yourself. And I just knew

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her to be very seasoned clinical practitioner, who was committed

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to a lot of the same principles that I live by and have really

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made it into my coaching. So I knew Janet would have a lot of

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wisdom to share. The conversation is inspirational.

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It's funny, and I loved every minute of it. So I hope you

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enjoy and we'll see you in the episode.

Maureen Spielman: 00:01:08

Hey there, welcome to mystical sisterhood. This is your host,

Maureen Spielman: 00:01:11

Maureen Spielman. I started the show to highlight the

Maureen Spielman: 00:01:14

intuitives, healers and other courageous women that I've met

Maureen Spielman: 00:01:18

along my journey and continue to meet. Through amazing

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interviews, I seek to ask insightful questions to uncover

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ways in which you the listener can apply the wisdom and

Maureen Spielman: 00:01:28

knowledge to your own life. I believe that we're all in this

Maureen Spielman: 00:01:31

together. So sharing healing and joy, and bringing community

Maureen Spielman: 00:01:35

together is both my passion and purpose. If you'd like to learn

Maureen Spielman: 00:01:40

more about the mystical sisterhood community I'm

Maureen Spielman: 00:01:42

building, please visit www mystical sisterhood.com See you

Maureen Spielman: 00:01:48

in the episode

Maureen Spielman: 00:01:56

Welcome back to mystical sisterhood. Today I'm here with

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Janet Philbin. And I am very excited to be sitting with you,

Maureen Spielman: 00:02:04

Janet, for our listeners, will Janet came upon, you know my

Maureen Spielman: 00:02:10

scene when I did Dr. Shefali safaris conscious parenting

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Institute. And Janet, I think that you were actually actually

Maureen Spielman: 00:02:16

my ambassador. But it was such a big cohort that there weren't a

Maureen Spielman: 00:02:21

lot of touch points. But you you kind of came in my sphere, and I

Maureen Spielman: 00:02:26

started taking notice and sort of being interested in your

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work. I remember several of my co students, you know,

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eventually working with you privately, whether

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therapeutically, or or therapeutically

Maureen Spielman: 00:02:43

with hypnosis as well. So I was always intrigued by that. And I

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welcome you here today. I think that, you know, we can have a

Maureen Spielman: 00:02:52

conversation about a lot of points of your work,

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and just how you came to be where you sit today. And I'll

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start right there with a welcome. And did you I noticed

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in rereading your book today that you kind of adopted the

Maureen Spielman: 00:03:13

therapeutic world early. You have been a therapist for so

Maureen Spielman: 00:03:16

many years. A long time.

Janet Philbin: 00:03:19

Yep. Yeah. Since I was one of those people that

Janet Philbin: 00:03:22

went right, from undergraduate school to graduate school. But I

Janet Philbin: 00:03:26

never had the dream of being a therapist in private practice.

Janet Philbin: 00:03:33

And I actually remember being an NYU in like, you know, those

Janet Philbin: 00:03:38

orientation days you have to go to before classes actually start

Janet Philbin: 00:03:43

and sitting in a room with the other first year social work

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students. And these young women who were all my age, we were all

Janet Philbin: 00:03:50

in our early 20s saying, oh, yeah, when I graduate in two

Janet Philbin: 00:03:53

years, I'm going to open up a private practice right here in

Janet Philbin: 00:03:56

New York City. I remember thinking that you don't know

Janet Philbin: 00:04:00

anything, and you're not going to know anything in two years.

Janet Philbin: 00:04:04

That's, that's kind of, you know, I didn't think it was

Janet Philbin: 00:04:08

okay. That was never my goal. I always wanted to work in agency

Janet Philbin: 00:04:13

life. I loved geriatrics. I wanted to work with cute little

Janet Philbin: 00:04:19

old people. That was my goal.

Janet Philbin: 00:04:22

So when I began my career, I began actually the job I got was

Janet Philbin: 00:04:27

in a New York City Hospital, which was an amazing and amazing

Janet Philbin: 00:04:33

learning opportunity. I was doing work I never wanted to do

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because it wasn't clinical work. It was very concrete work. It

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was discharge planning and

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that kind of services, but I learned a lot and I wound up

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working with the AIDS patients. In the end, I wound up the

Janet Philbin: 00:04:50

social work on the AIDS team in 1992. That was a big deal,

Janet Philbin: 00:04:55

because it was the beginning of the AIDS epidemic and

Unknown: 00:04:59

I will

Janet Philbin: 00:05:00

Love that work. I love that, that role I had

Janet Philbin: 00:05:03

there. But then I left and went into geriatrics and wound up,

Janet Philbin: 00:05:09

being able to get a job closer to home at a fairly new long

Janet Philbin: 00:05:13

term care facility. And I did that for six or eight years. And

Janet Philbin: 00:05:17

I loved that also. But then I had my second child, and it just

Janet Philbin: 00:05:21

didn't pay to keep working, how I was working, pay for daycare,

Unknown: 00:05:28

and raise two children. So an opportunity on my lap to

Unknown: 00:05:33

start a private practice. And I said, Okay, I'll do it. What a

Unknown: 00:05:37

beautiful kind of trajectory you had with your experiences. And I

Unknown: 00:05:41

can, I can see that being hugely beneficial, because you've got

Unknown: 00:05:45

that wide landscape when you first started working in the

Unknown: 00:05:48

hospital systems. And then

Unknown: 00:05:51

it reminds me of my sister in law, and I hope she's gonna

Unknown: 00:05:53

listen to this one. She's also a social worker. And that's how it

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happens sometimes, right? It's sort of like a little bit by

Unknown: 00:05:59

default, you kind of, it's before we get to maybe maybe I'm

Unknown: 00:06:03

projecting, like a lot of intentional choice. It's like

Unknown: 00:06:06

what falls in our lap at first. And then and I always like to

Unknown: 00:06:10

think about how those experiences, even though

Unknown: 00:06:13

seemingly kind of disparate in ways they do feed into who you

Unknown: 00:06:20

became, and the work that you've done. 100% I live by this little

Unknown: 00:06:26

zingy quote, that I actually have pinned it on my bulletin

Unknown: 00:06:28

board behind my computer, and I don't even know, it had to be

Unknown: 00:06:33

the early 2000s When I cut it out of the local newspaper, and

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it says opportunity only knocks on doors that it knows are

Unknown: 00:06:41

already open to it.

Janet Philbin: 00:06:43

And I live by this mantra, because when an

Janet Philbin: 00:06:47

opportunity comes my way, especially an opportunity I'm

Janet Philbin: 00:06:50

not looking for I just say yes. So when the opportunity came my

Janet Philbin: 00:06:54

way to start my private practice.

Janet Philbin: 00:06:58

I didn't have a client. And she needed this therapist needed

Janet Philbin: 00:07:03

help with something. And I said, Well, I can just help you with

Janet Philbin: 00:07:05

that. Don't be silly, you need help. She goes, Oh, no, I can't

Janet Philbin: 00:07:08

even help me for nothing. Use my office one day a week. I said, I

Janet Philbin: 00:07:13

don't have a client. She goes, I'll get you your first client.

Janet Philbin: 00:07:15

And she did. And that's how it started. But if I would have

Janet Philbin: 00:07:18

said no to her, I certainly wouldn't have been, I wouldn't

Janet Philbin: 00:07:22

be sitting here talking to you right now. Because I was ready

Janet Philbin: 00:07:25

to walk away from social work and just take any job that could

Janet Philbin: 00:07:28

contribute to my family that would work in the hours that I

Janet Philbin: 00:07:32

needed it to. And that opened up one opportunity to the next to

Janet Philbin: 00:07:38

the next to the next. So that's what I tell people say yes. And

Janet Philbin: 00:07:43

if you Okay, close the door after you gave it a shot. What

Janet Philbin: 00:07:48

if going through that one door opens up the next six?

Janet Philbin: 00:07:53

Absolutely. I love it. There was a

Maureen Spielman: 00:07:57

an a quote that I like to it says, If the

Maureen Spielman: 00:08:00

door doesn't open, it's not your door. So we're kind of like

Maureen Spielman: 00:08:03

watching I know you're a big fan of the principles of the

Maureen Spielman: 00:08:07

universe and just these bigger spiritual concepts embedded. I

Maureen Spielman: 00:08:11

think your point though, I want to point out because, you know,

Maureen Spielman: 00:08:15

my colleagues are coaches starting in the business, you

Maureen Spielman: 00:08:20

know, we've been working on it for a few years now. But in the

Maureen Spielman: 00:08:24

beginning, it can be so quiet. So how do you how would you tell

Maureen Spielman: 00:08:29

someone to have trust, even if they were at these beginning

Maureen Spielman: 00:08:33

stages, you have to be patient, literally, that first client, I

Maureen Spielman: 00:08:38

had paid me $25 A week.

Janet Philbin: 00:08:42

For eight months, it was eight months till I got

Janet Philbin: 00:08:45

my second client. And then I don't even know how many months

Janet Philbin: 00:08:49

after that till I got the third. And it should

Janet Philbin: 00:08:53

build slowly. So you really just have to be patient, people have

Janet Philbin: 00:08:57

to get to know you, you have to network, you have to mark it,

Janet Philbin: 00:09:02

and put yourself out there and maybe offer your services at a

Janet Philbin: 00:09:06

lower cost to get started. And

Janet Philbin: 00:09:10

you do what you need to do if this is what you were meant to

Janet Philbin: 00:09:13

do what you feel you've been meant to do what you've put so

Janet Philbin: 00:09:17

much energy into. You've followed it for a reason. So

Maureen Spielman: 00:09:23

I would encourage people if financially

Maureen Spielman: 00:09:25

if it's possible, even though it's hard to stick with it.

Maureen Spielman: 00:09:30

Okay, I love that. Because you're right there was there was

Maureen Spielman: 00:09:34

a calling from within that got you to the place to see if this

Maureen Spielman: 00:09:39

was going to work and I the patience is is perfect advice i

Maureen Spielman: 00:09:44

think i reminds me of in the beginning of your book, so I'll

Maureen Spielman: 00:09:49

name it right now, if you're watching on YouTube, because I

Maureen Spielman: 00:09:52

put these on YouTube show up for yourself is Janet's book that

Maureen Spielman: 00:09:56

was published in 2020. But you

Maureen Spielman: 00:10:00

I like in the beginning how you talk about how you were watching

Maureen Spielman: 00:10:04

your kids when they got to be young adults kind of like into

Maureen Spielman: 00:10:08

their adult life, and they were all these big questions were

Maureen Spielman: 00:10:12

coming to them. And, you know, you're witnessing it from a

Maureen Spielman: 00:10:15

different perspective as their mother with more years under

Maureen Spielman: 00:10:18

your belt, but that you, it gave you a witness or perspective

Maureen Spielman: 00:10:23

where you could see that it was their work to do and that you

Maureen Spielman: 00:10:27

could not do that for them. And then just weaving in like with

Maureen Spielman: 00:10:32

that concept, this your, your book title show up for yourself.

Maureen Spielman: 00:10:36

Can you talk a little bit about that? And just like how it came

Maureen Spielman: 00:10:39

to be? Yeah, no, that's such a fun question, actually had to do

Maureen Spielman: 00:10:44

with my middle child who was still in college at the time, it

Maureen Spielman: 00:10:49

was.

Janet Philbin: 00:10:51

The book came out three weeks into the pandemic.

Janet Philbin: 00:10:54

So this

Janet Philbin: 00:10:56

occurrence, where I came up with the title of the book. So the

Janet Philbin: 00:11:01

pandemic started late March, early April, this was probably

Janet Philbin: 00:11:04

December ish. And I forget what year

Janet Philbin: 00:11:10

college they were in, maybe, junior year. And you know, you

Janet Philbin: 00:11:14

have to start to figure things out and things were struggle and

Janet Philbin: 00:11:19

classes might have been hard and confusing things about your

Janet Philbin: 00:11:24

major or reaching out to advisors. And

Janet Philbin: 00:11:30

that part of me wanted to rescue This child of mine. I had

Janet Philbin: 00:11:36

already

Janet Philbin: 00:11:38

been, I already graduated from the Coaching Institute. So I

Janet Philbin: 00:11:42

knew what was happening, like my rescuer wanted to come in and

Janet Philbin: 00:11:46

swoop and save the day and give this child all the answers. To

Janet Philbin: 00:11:51

solve the problems. For this child of mine.

Janet Philbin: 00:11:56

I had to take a step back, and I spoke to my husband, I was just

Janet Philbin: 00:12:02

thinking out loud, and I'm like, if I don't let him show up for

Janet Philbin: 00:12:09

himself and figure it out. It's not going to stick it won't have

Janet Philbin: 00:12:13

any meaning. So I can't and then I said, a little later that

Janet Philbin: 00:12:18

morning, I was thinking and I was like, Oh my God, that's the

Janet Philbin: 00:12:21

perfect title for the book. Show up for yourself. Because if I

Janet Philbin: 00:12:25

don't do it for you, no one else can do it for you. So how is it

Janet Philbin: 00:12:30

we can learn to show up for ourselves, really make yourself

Janet Philbin: 00:12:34

a priority, really look at what's holding you back.

Janet Philbin: 00:12:38

brave enough to face it, move through it, and find yourself on

Janet Philbin: 00:12:44

the other side. So the book title was inspired by this

Janet Philbin: 00:12:51

struggle My middle child was going through at the time being

Janet Philbin: 00:12:55

in college and kind of being in a transition point of life.

Janet Philbin: 00:12:59

Yeah. And so it's like you're serving on the silver platter a

Janet Philbin: 00:13:03

little bit, even though it might not feel like to our child here,

Janet Philbin: 00:13:07

show up for yourself. And at the same time learning those lessons

Janet Philbin: 00:13:11

that need to be healed for yourself of okay, taking a look

Janet Philbin: 00:13:15

at the rescuer and maybe how that operated or over operated

Janet Philbin: 00:13:19

in your life. Absolutely. Right. It was still, for me, I still

Janet Philbin: 00:13:24

had to be authentic for me. But in order to do that, you have to

Janet Philbin: 00:13:28

look at your own shadow. Right? You have to look at your own

Janet Philbin: 00:13:32

demons and face them too. So as a parent, a spouse, a friend,

Janet Philbin: 00:13:39

like what is that advice? You're giving other people? Why are you

Janet Philbin: 00:13:42

giving it? Yeah. Is that coming from a place of wholeness within

Janet Philbin: 00:13:47

you? Or is it coming from a place of I need to fix you or

Janet Philbin: 00:13:51

help you fix you, but I'm not gonna do my own work. And then

Janet Philbin: 00:13:56

that wind, so I'm very troubled. When Yes, from that place of,

Janet Philbin: 00:14:02

I'm not finished with my work, but I'm going to act and tell

Janet Philbin: 00:14:06

you what to do.

Maureen Spielman: 00:14:07

Yeah, so, so true. And, you know, do you you

Maureen Spielman: 00:14:12

know, when you work on your framework with your clients, I'm

Maureen Spielman: 00:14:15

wondering, too, I'm thinking about your book. I really liked

Maureen Spielman: 00:14:18

the beginning chapters. Janet, how you said, who was showing

Maureen Spielman: 00:14:23

up? And I think you said what is showing up, and even to, I'm

Maureen Spielman: 00:14:30

going to say right now to for our listeners today, I was just

Maureen Spielman: 00:14:33

saying to you before we hit record, that I have many

Maureen Spielman: 00:14:38

bookshelves with many books on them. And truly, I believe I

Maureen Spielman: 00:14:43

know that people use the word roadmap a lot, but I like your

Maureen Spielman: 00:14:46

book, because it breaks down these categories. Because I

Maureen Spielman: 00:14:50

often think you know, my podcast is newer, it's about three

Maureen Spielman: 00:14:53

months young and have a lot of people talking about a lot of

Maureen Spielman: 00:14:57

things. And what I'm kind of leaning into a little more

Maureen Spielman: 00:15:00

Whereas like, yeah, that's such a cool concept. But how do we do

Maureen Spielman: 00:15:04

that? And that's why I like the year the beginning premise

Maureen Spielman: 00:15:07

before you go into other things of who was showing up, you kind

Maureen Spielman: 00:15:11

of just alluded to it and what is showing up in my life? Can

Maureen Spielman: 00:15:14

you talk about those just like beginning concepts?

Janet Philbin: 00:15:19

Well, I think we do need to understand who is

Janet Philbin: 00:15:22

showing up in the moment

Janet Philbin: 00:15:25

in each and every situation, but the only way we can do that is

Janet Philbin: 00:15:30

to be in touch with ourselves. Right? So is this my adult self

Janet Philbin: 00:15:36

showing up? Or is it my 10 year old self showing up having a

Janet Philbin: 00:15:40

tantrum here, or my 15 year old self being difficult and

Janet Philbin: 00:15:45

argumentative? Because she can be

Janet Philbin: 00:15:48

or two year old having a Temper Temper Tantrum. So

Janet Philbin: 00:15:54

we have to know our energy that we're bringing into every

Janet Philbin: 00:15:59

situation, we have to understand where that's coming from. But

Janet Philbin: 00:16:03

again, so many people walk around.

Janet Philbin: 00:16:10

This illusion does the word that's coming to me, but I'm not

Janet Philbin: 00:16:12

exactly sure that's the right word, Maureen, I think

Janet Philbin: 00:16:16

disconnected is a better word.

Janet Philbin: 00:16:20

Because people just go through the motions.

Janet Philbin: 00:16:24

And they don't stop to tune in, they don't stop to

Janet Philbin: 00:16:31

feel this sensations that rise up in their body when I get

Janet Philbin: 00:16:38

upset because dot dot dot right, there just, I'm upset. And they

Janet Philbin: 00:16:42

react. So we have to first know ourselves, who is showing up

Janet Philbin: 00:16:48

here? Right? Who is it and be honest about it. All right, my

Janet Philbin: 00:16:51

general is having a tantrum, I'm gonna just be real about that

Janet Philbin: 00:16:55

right now, um, then I'm going to take care of that part of me.

Janet Philbin: 00:16:58

And then maybe my adult self can show up. So I think, who was

Janet Philbin: 00:17:03

showing up comes under the category of getting to know

Janet Philbin: 00:17:06

yourself, and allowing yourself to be honest with yourself.

Unknown: 00:17:12

And, and

Janet Philbin: 00:17:14

finding a way to take care of that part of

Janet Philbin: 00:17:17

yourself. Because we all are made up of a million different

Janet Philbin: 00:17:19

parts. And different parts of us come into the foreground, into

Janet Philbin: 00:17:24

the executive part of us to be in charge in that moment,

Janet Philbin: 00:17:28

because they think they know what to do, because it's

Janet Philbin: 00:17:30

familiar from some time in the past. Maybe they know what they

Janet Philbin: 00:17:34

do, or maybe the way they did it in the past is just not really

Janet Philbin: 00:17:36

going to be effective right now. Right?

Maureen Spielman: 00:17:40

That's usually, yeah, and I think that,

Maureen Spielman: 00:17:43

if I can speak for myself is that

Maureen Spielman: 00:17:47

I don't know, I knew that I didn't feel good inside. But I

Maureen Spielman: 00:17:53

had done certain, you know, types of therapy, and they'd

Maureen Spielman: 00:17:57

certainly helped me reconcile parts of me and kind of put some

Maureen Spielman: 00:18:02

things down. But then I don't know, if I was really doing what

Maureen Spielman: 00:18:06

was could be considered, like more active work, like you're

Maureen Spielman: 00:18:10

saying, and getting to know those parts of me. And so I

Maureen Spielman: 00:18:13

think for a long time, it felt like I was kind of deep down in

Maureen Spielman: 00:18:20

a well, and I would feel all these ways, like, the word that

Maureen Spielman: 00:18:24

just came to me when you were talking was turmoil, possibly

Maureen Spielman: 00:18:29

chaos inside.

Maureen Spielman: 00:18:32

Definitely overwhelm because I had three young kids for a long

Maureen Spielman: 00:18:35

time, it takes them a while to grow up. And just these words,

Maureen Spielman: 00:18:40

and so and then that they, they created other situations inside

Maureen Spielman: 00:18:45

myself or ways of being that felt like resentful and, and

Maureen Spielman: 00:18:48

things. But I didn't for many, many, many years. I didn't know

Maureen Spielman: 00:18:52

the way out I didn't know, I didn't know. And so I was just

Maureen Spielman: 00:18:57

swirling in that place for a long time. So I was gonna, I

Maureen Spielman: 00:19:00

guess my comment is like, sometimes do you see people? Not

Maureen Spielman: 00:19:04

that they accept it, but they just don't know how.

Janet Philbin: 00:19:09

I think it's a both and like, they don't even

Janet Philbin: 00:19:13

know they've accepted it. It's just the way I am. And since

Janet Philbin: 00:19:18

since the way I am, I can change it. So I don't even have to look

Janet Philbin: 00:19:23

at how

Janet Philbin: 00:19:26

until people get

Janet Philbin: 00:19:29

become uncomfortable with what was always comfortable.

Janet Philbin: 00:19:36

They don't move towards change.

Janet Philbin: 00:19:41

Right, because we're so comfortable. With maybe the

Janet Philbin: 00:19:46

dysfunctional way something's worked, because it's worked. But

Janet Philbin: 00:19:50

then all of a sudden you start realizing I'm not that

Janet Philbin: 00:19:54

comfortable with the way I've been doing that I'm not that

Janet Philbin: 00:19:56

comfortable in this relationship anymore. I'm not that

Janet Philbin: 00:20:00

comfortable in this job anymore, I'm not that comfortable with

Janet Philbin: 00:20:02

the way my boss talks to me or my colleagues treat me. And then

Janet Philbin: 00:20:07

you start having this

Janet Philbin: 00:20:12

these parts of you start kind of warring. So we're forced to move

Janet Philbin: 00:20:19

through discomfort, to find a new way to become comfortable.

Janet Philbin: 00:20:23

Again, there's it's a, it's a psychological process that

Janet Philbin: 00:20:27

actually has a term and it's going from something that's ego

Janet Philbin: 00:20:32

syntonic, to ego dystonic. So we have to move. And when people

Janet Philbin: 00:20:37

can do that shift,

Janet Philbin: 00:20:41

that's when change happens. That's when healing happens.

Janet Philbin: 00:20:46

Which brings me to my other favorite quote, which I do quote

Janet Philbin: 00:20:49

in the book, by me, snin, which is in the day came when the risk

Janet Philbin: 00:20:54

to remain tight in a bud was greater than the risk it took to

Janet Philbin: 00:20:58

blossom. And that movement.

Janet Philbin: 00:21:02

Yeah. And I think that you, you offer in the book that that

Janet Philbin: 00:21:08

premise of sometimes, we well, maybe all the time, the way

Janet Philbin: 00:21:13

you're I had my listeners know this, but I had a diagnosis like

Janet Philbin: 00:21:17

I've heard Dr. Shefali talk about that, like sometimes, it

Janet Philbin: 00:21:21

is just the regular course of life and what you're talking

Janet Philbin: 00:21:24

about, like that discomfort grows so much, but and then

Janet Philbin: 00:21:28

others have these big things that are the awakening hours, or

Janet Philbin: 00:21:32

the offering as an awakened or I should say, but yeah, I think

Janet Philbin: 00:21:36

you had said in your book, what if, what if, by healing the

Janet Philbin: 00:21:40

pain, it could get you closer to your purpose. And it's like that

Janet Philbin: 00:21:46

the only way out is through as well kind of seems fitting? Yes,

Janet Philbin: 00:21:51

you have to go through, I was saying that to my clients, from

Janet Philbin: 00:21:55

the beginning of my practice, there's no over, under around,

Janet Philbin: 00:22:01

we have to go through. So it's like you gotta go into that dark

Janet Philbin: 00:22:04

tunnel. And enter a tunnel, there's some light, but the

Janet Philbin: 00:22:08

deeper and deeper, deeper, you go gets darker and darker and

Janet Philbin: 00:22:10

scarier and scarier, and you think I am just never get out of

Janet Philbin: 00:22:13

here. Yeah. And then all of a sudden, the light, you could

Janet Philbin: 00:22:17

start seeing the end of the tunnel, and the light starts

Janet Philbin: 00:22:20

shining, and then you know where to walk, and you will emerge on

Janet Philbin: 00:22:23

the other side. I never pretend the journey is easy. The journey

Janet Philbin: 00:22:28

is usually full of pain.

Janet Philbin: 00:22:30

But that doesn't mean you can't do it. It just means you need

Janet Philbin: 00:22:35

support to do it.

Maureen Spielman: 00:22:37

Yeah, and I think about people who have a

Maureen Spielman: 00:22:41

lot of trauma. And and I know traumas like there's there's

Maureen Spielman: 00:22:47

variances of what people walk in with. But I can understand like

Maureen Spielman: 00:22:52

I can see that sometimes that would feel so big that and you

Maureen Spielman: 00:22:57

don't know what's on the other side of opening the door. So it

Maureen Spielman: 00:23:02

often I was thinking about that before we met like do you see

Maureen Spielman: 00:23:07

people sometimes not not able to go there and this lifetime, just

Maureen Spielman: 00:23:11

because of some maybe I don't know if that would be a

Maureen Spielman: 00:23:13

subconscious fear or operating system that that's just going to

Maureen Spielman: 00:23:16

be so so much for me to deal with.

Janet Philbin: 00:23:20

Because, you know, people are attached to

Janet Philbin: 00:23:22

their belief systems.

Janet Philbin: 00:23:24

Right? So they make justifications for all all

Janet Philbin: 00:23:27

things in all areas of their life. I was talking with a

Janet Philbin: 00:23:30

client recently, who, you know, was talking about her

Janet Philbin: 00:23:35

relationship. And she says, Well, if that person doesn't ask

Janet Philbin: 00:23:40

me questions, and it doesn't show that I'm not, they're not

Janet Philbin: 00:23:45

interested in me. Does that mean I'm not good enough.

Janet Philbin: 00:23:49

But meanwhile, this person has stayed in this relationship for

Janet Philbin: 00:23:53

more than 20 years.

Janet Philbin: 00:23:56

Always searching to be good enough. And guess what I mean,

Janet Philbin: 00:24:00

you know, as a coach, the pattern has repeated for

Janet Philbin: 00:24:02

generations now. Yeah, I've been working with this person for

Janet Philbin: 00:24:07

about eight months. And just regular counseling, walking

Janet Philbin: 00:24:13

inside orienta counseling. And after eight months, she finally

Janet Philbin: 00:24:17

said that I saw it from the beginning. But you can't force

Janet Philbin: 00:24:21

someone to see something they're not ready to see. Yeah, it came

Janet Philbin: 00:24:24

out organically. Finally, I'm already on my side of the

Janet Philbin: 00:24:29

screen, but I didn't.

Maureen Spielman: 00:24:31

Okay, and then there's that patience again,

Maureen Spielman: 00:24:34

right. I'm sure that for your yourself in the process and for

Maureen Spielman: 00:24:38

them to.

Maureen Spielman: 00:24:40

Yeah, I wanted you to talk about because it's alluded to within

Maureen Spielman: 00:24:46

different podcasts I've done but I know that the inner child is

Maureen Spielman: 00:24:52

a cornerstone foundation of the work you do. Can you share what

Maureen Spielman: 00:24:57

you define the inner child as and I heard you earlier.

Janet Philbin: 00:25:00

Say your 15 year old self, your 10 year old self.

Janet Philbin: 00:25:02

So can you kind of go into that, and I and then we'll go from

Janet Philbin: 00:25:06

there? Sure, I would love to. So the inner, we all have an inner

Janet Philbin: 00:25:10

child, every single one of us, because we were all children

Janet Philbin: 00:25:14

once. And so those children we want to are live within us,

Janet Philbin: 00:25:19

right? If I asked someone you know, pick a memory from when

Janet Philbin: 00:25:23

you attend, something is going to pop up, pick a memory from

Janet Philbin: 00:25:27

when you were 15, pick a memory from when you were seven,

Janet Philbin: 00:25:29

something will quickly hit you random.

Janet Philbin: 00:25:36

But when we've been through the struggles in our life, and not

Janet Philbin: 00:25:40

everyone has had trauma, some people have little tiny T

Janet Philbin: 00:25:45

traumas, repeated traumas, one big trauma, there's generational

Janet Philbin: 00:25:49

trauma, there's all sorts of trauma.

Janet Philbin: 00:25:52

But in order to survive upsetting things, when we're

Janet Philbin: 00:25:56

young,

Unknown: 00:25:59

we develop

Janet Philbin: 00:26:02

different parts of ourself different defense

Janet Philbin: 00:26:05

mechanisms, in order to cope to survive. And we develop

Janet Philbin: 00:26:10

different parts of our personalities to survive those

Janet Philbin: 00:26:14

things. So the way I look at it, the way I like to explain it, or

Janet Philbin: 00:26:20

child is, I believe,

Janet Philbin: 00:26:24

when we're born, I believe we choose to come into this

Janet Philbin: 00:26:28

manifestation of our life, and that we come. It's a co creation

Janet Philbin: 00:26:33

of choosing with our parents that we're going to come at this

Janet Philbin: 00:26:36

time, for whatever reason, and we've chosen to come because we

Janet Philbin: 00:26:40

have our own special gifts that are needed in that family of

Janet Philbin: 00:26:45

origin, that are being called to the family of origin. So here we

Janet Philbin: 00:26:49

come through our parents right into this family of origin that

Janet Philbin: 00:26:54

guess what is already wounded in some way, shape, or form.

Janet Philbin: 00:26:58

There's already wounding there. And we come with our light. And

Janet Philbin: 00:27:01

we come with our fullness, and we come with all of our gifts of

Janet Philbin: 00:27:04

love, and good enough and giving and compassion. And

Janet Philbin: 00:27:13

then we're told in some way, shape, or form, verbally, non

Janet Philbin: 00:27:16

verbally, that we're too much that don't ask for what you

Janet Philbin: 00:27:20

need. Or it's dangerous here. So you need to hide.

Janet Philbin: 00:27:26

And on and on and on. So as we learn these things,

Janet Philbin: 00:27:32

we realize, Oh,

Janet Philbin: 00:27:35

I'm not good enough. I'm not important enough, I better be

Janet Philbin: 00:27:39

quiet, or I'm going to get hit, I better be a good girl. Because

Janet Philbin: 00:27:45

that's the only way Mommy's going to love me. I bet to get

Janet Philbin: 00:27:48

straight A's because that's the only way Daddy's going to be

Janet Philbin: 00:27:51

proud of me. And I realized I'm using very gender stereotypical

Janet Philbin: 00:27:55

pronouns and things. So please know that this is not

Janet Philbin: 00:28:02

gender specific. It's it's just, I'm just trying to make a point.

Janet Philbin: 00:28:07

So through these life experiences, we actually develop

Janet Philbin: 00:28:12

a wounded inner child. Right, so the true self, that perfect,

Janet Philbin: 00:28:17

beautiful pure inner child that came from source is here, and

Janet Philbin: 00:28:20

every single one of our hearts, he or she has not disappeared,

Janet Philbin: 00:28:25

they are just being defended. So we have all these defenders in

Janet Philbin: 00:28:30

the wounded inner child going I got this one I know how to do

Janet Philbin: 00:28:34

with that. I know how to do that. So now, we're 30 and we

Janet Philbin: 00:28:38

have a five year old and a five year old is having a temper

Janet Philbin: 00:28:41

tantrum, but you weren't allowed to have a temper tantrum when

Janet Philbin: 00:28:43

you were five or maybe you were gonna get hit, maybe gonna get

Janet Philbin: 00:28:46

put in your room, maybe we're gonna get the corner ignored,

Janet Philbin: 00:28:48

not fed dinner, whatever. So you freak out as an adult, screaming

Janet Philbin: 00:28:54

at your five year old because you are not allowed to have a

Janet Philbin: 00:28:57

tantrum. Yeah.

Janet Philbin: 00:28:59

Right. So that wounded inner child,

Janet Philbin: 00:29:04

when we ask who is showing up is the one that's showing up is the

Janet Philbin: 00:29:09

one having the tantrum in an adult body. With the tantruming

Janet Philbin: 00:29:14

five year old in front of you, nothing gets accomplished. So

Janet Philbin: 00:29:18

until we get and this is why I love hypnotherapy, and this is

Janet Philbin: 00:29:21

why I love conscious parenting. Because we want to deconstruct

Janet Philbin: 00:29:25

the patterns. We want to understand what happened in the

Janet Philbin: 00:29:28

past we want to go back and heal that wounded inner child. So he

Janet Philbin: 00:29:35

or she can become whole again with the W hole

Janet Philbin: 00:29:40

back into our very own hearts and feel complete. So now when

Janet Philbin: 00:29:45

your five year old in front of you has a temper tantrum you can

Janet Philbin: 00:29:48

go okay, it's just tantrum it's all okay. He or she is allowed

Janet Philbin: 00:29:52

to do that. I'm still hold as opposed to having holes H O le

Janet Philbin: 00:29:58

SS we're all this

Janet Philbin: 00:30:00

stuff seeps in pours out. So with hypnosis, and I'll just

Janet Philbin: 00:30:05

segue into that, if you don't mind, because I think it's

Janet Philbin: 00:30:07

important here. The unconscious mind has no sense of time at

Janet Philbin: 00:30:13

all. So when something happens in the moment in front of you,

Janet Philbin: 00:30:17

and it is similar enough to an emotion, of feeling, an event

Janet Philbin: 00:30:23

that happened at some point in the past,

Janet Philbin: 00:30:26

the present adult self gets hijacked, that younger self

Janet Philbin: 00:30:30

comes forward into the executive functioning, and is in charge,

Janet Philbin: 00:30:35

because it doesn't know it's no longer five 710 15. It learned a

Janet Philbin: 00:30:42

coping skill at a certain age. It became a wound it became

Janet Philbin: 00:30:47

defended. And it goes, I know this, I know the coping skill.

Janet Philbin: 00:30:52

Here I am.

Janet Philbin: 00:30:54

Amazon doesn't work. So in hypnosis, the way I work, not

Janet Philbin: 00:30:58

every hypnotherapist works, the way I work or the way I train my

Janet Philbin: 00:31:02

hypnotherapists to work.

Janet Philbin: 00:31:06

We go back in time, and we find that wounded inner child, and we

Janet Philbin: 00:31:12

rescue them. And we work with the cellular memory of the body,

Janet Philbin: 00:31:16

because the way to heal trauma is to get it out of the cells

Janet Philbin: 00:31:19

that have been studied and proven by Peter Levine Bessel

Janet Philbin: 00:31:22

Vander cog Gabor Ma Tei, right, we got to get it out of the

Janet Philbin: 00:31:26

cells of the body.

Janet Philbin: 00:31:29

And we heal and work with that inner child, and let them know

Janet Philbin: 00:31:35

the truth.

Janet Philbin: 00:31:39

And it's a whole process, but in the end, they can become whole

Janet Philbin: 00:31:42

again, and us the adults can now be in charge as opposed to this

Janet Philbin: 00:31:46

wounded part. So

Janet Philbin: 00:31:51

that's why the inner child is important. That's why the inner

Janet Philbin: 00:31:54

child can't be ignored. I think everyone needs to be doing inner

Janet Philbin: 00:31:58

child work, and heals those original wounds, because they

Janet Philbin: 00:32:03

are impacting us as much work as I've done. And I've been working

Janet Philbin: 00:32:05

on myself for more than 30 years, I've done so much inner

Janet Philbin: 00:32:08

child work through regular therapy, hypnotherapy coaching,

Janet Philbin: 00:32:11

you name it. Still, bam, I get triggered, and I gotta look

Janet Philbin: 00:32:16

who's showing up? What do I need? I know how to do this for

Janet Philbin: 00:32:19

myself now. But what do I need to do for myself? Yes, and

Janet Philbin: 00:32:23

everyone needs to do? Well, I'll just say about all that. Thank

Janet Philbin: 00:32:27

you. For that beautiful explanation. I think it's

Janet Philbin: 00:32:32

perfect. Because no matter where the listener is, on the journey,

Janet Philbin: 00:32:37

there's something in there for them. But especially for

Maureen Spielman: 00:32:42

a newer listener to these sorts of

Maureen Spielman: 00:32:45

messages. I know that, you know, you and I can say like, oh, this

Maureen Spielman: 00:32:49

is all over the place. But you know, it's just I feel like

Maureen Spielman: 00:32:51

inner child is just beginning to be known a little bit more and

Maureen Spielman: 00:32:56

understood by bigger groups, but just this idea of you think

Maureen Spielman: 00:33:02

you're operating but it's it's a part of you. It's a piece of

Maureen Spielman: 00:33:07

your history coming forth. But it's not necessarily your

Maureen Spielman: 00:33:11

authentic self. And I'm thinking about all the MIS identification

Maureen Spielman: 00:33:15

of who we truly are. And I think it's just the beautiful premise

Maureen Spielman: 00:33:21

to have.

Maureen Spielman: 00:33:23

That I love how you went back and talked about how we came to

Maureen Spielman: 00:33:28

be that we made this choice that we're here and I've never heard

Maureen Spielman: 00:33:31

it said the way you just said it about we have certain gifts to

Maureen Spielman: 00:33:35

offer our family of origin that's really pretty eye and

Maureen Spielman: 00:33:39

profound.

Janet Philbin: 00:33:41

I've not heard it said that way before. But just

Janet Philbin: 00:33:44

the this idea of there are these parts of us that are unhealed

Janet Philbin: 00:33:47

and I'm, I've never done hypnosis. So I don't even know a

Janet Philbin: 00:33:52

lot about that process. I understand what you just said.

Janet Philbin: 00:33:55

But how do you even what what is hypnosis doing that it brings us

Janet Philbin: 00:33:59

into another I'm gonna say brain operating state that allows us

Janet Philbin: 00:34:03

to be you know, ready to do the work you do? Yeah, so hypnosis

Janet Philbin: 00:34:08

is just an altered state of consciousness. Just like you

Janet Philbin: 00:34:11

know, if you go into meditation, or, you know, if you've ever

Janet Philbin: 00:34:15

driven somewhere and all of a sudden you're at your

Janet Philbin: 00:34:17

destination, like, Oh my God, I don't remember the drive. That's

Janet Philbin: 00:34:21

an altered state. That's a hypnotic state. When you're

Janet Philbin: 00:34:23

reading a book and someone's talking to you don't hear them.

Janet Philbin: 00:34:26

When that's all altered state. That's all hypnosis, and all

Janet Philbin: 00:34:32

hypnosis is self hypnosis. So it's something that we do for

Janet Philbin: 00:34:37

ourselves. No one can force you to be hypnotized if you don't

Janet Philbin: 00:34:39

want to be hypnotized because no one is stronger than your mind

Janet Philbin: 00:34:42

then you are but in hypnosis, if and I know some of your

Janet Philbin: 00:34:47

listeners are watching, some are listening, but I'm going to hold

Janet Philbin: 00:34:50

my hands up my fists up over each other.

Janet Philbin: 00:34:54

And in hypnosis, we ask the conscious mind the fist on top

Janet Philbin: 00:34:58

to move over we give it something to

Janet Philbin: 00:35:00

Think about and so move it off to the side. And when that

Janet Philbin: 00:35:03

conscious mind is off to the side, the hypnotherapist can

Janet Philbin: 00:35:06

talk directly to the unconscious. So the conscious

Janet Philbin: 00:35:09

mind protects it, and then wants to control everything you can

Janet Philbin: 00:35:13

think of it like ego and conscious parenting, we got to

Janet Philbin: 00:35:16

get it out of the way. So I can talk to the unconscious, because

Janet Philbin: 00:35:19

the unconscious stores all of the memories.

Janet Philbin: 00:35:24

Everything we've ever had in our life, and I explained that in

Janet Philbin: 00:35:27

our in the book, it's like a file in your computer.

Janet Philbin: 00:35:31

And if you want to find pictures of your dog, you have to type in

Janet Philbin: 00:35:35

dog. But if you want to find pictures of your dog, and you're

Janet Philbin: 00:35:39

typing the word cat, you're not going to find those files. So

Janet Philbin: 00:35:43

the hypnotherapist is going to be skilled to know what are the

Janet Philbin: 00:35:48

key words to get to the right file to find the right memory to

Janet Philbin: 00:35:52

work on, related to this particular problem. And so it

Janet Philbin: 00:35:57

sounds like it's almost when you when you can get in there to

Janet Philbin: 00:36:00

that that file that needs to be opened at that time. That then

Janet Philbin: 00:36:04

there's the opportunity to do some reprogramming of the

Janet Philbin: 00:36:08

experience. Yeah, you're here. And the way I view it is healing

Janet Philbin: 00:36:12

the experience. We're healing that wounded part were reframing

Janet Philbin: 00:36:18

it were putting the truth in, we are letting that child know they

Janet Philbin: 00:36:23

survived. Because they develop those coping skills in service

Janet Philbin: 00:36:27

of survival. The problem is, like I said, the unconscious

Janet Philbin: 00:36:31

mind doesn't know any sense of time. So guess what, that seven

Janet Philbin: 00:36:35

year old is still in survival mode. 40 years later, it doesn't

Janet Philbin: 00:36:39

know when it's over.

Janet Philbin: 00:36:41

So we have to tell them it's over. It's done. You survived.

Janet Philbin: 00:36:46

And you did great. But you don't need that coping skill in that

Janet Philbin: 00:36:49

way anymore. Because guess what, it's hurting the adult self?

Janet Philbin: 00:36:51

Yeah. So let's do something with that. Let's heal that. And they

Janet Philbin: 00:36:55

always agree, they will, who the hell wants to be in pain, excuse

Janet Philbin: 00:36:58

the French, they always agree.

Maureen Spielman: 00:37:03

Such a beautiful process.

Maureen Spielman: 00:37:06

I'm thinking what a gift that that gives your client ourselves

Maureen Spielman: 00:37:11

who sit in that chair, to be able to have the experience that

Maureen Spielman: 00:37:16

we never happened or that we never had, but always deserved.

Maureen Spielman: 00:37:21

And so that is very, feels emotional to me. And it also

Maureen Spielman: 00:37:27

does have the tie into the conscious parenting because with

Maureen Spielman: 00:37:31

conscious parenting, we are working with individuals to

Maureen Spielman: 00:37:35

create these experiences for their own families. And then we

Maureen Spielman: 00:37:40

know that work I always think like,

Maureen Spielman: 00:37:43

whenever we talk about any of these things, and we use the

Maureen Spielman: 00:37:46

word parenting it can be applied to the principles can be applied

Maureen Spielman: 00:37:50

to, to everyone. Yes. 100%.

Maureen Spielman: 00:37:55

So I love that when you use it as this is like more of a

Maureen Spielman: 00:37:59

technical question but about our consciousness. But are the words

Maureen Spielman: 00:38:04

subconscious and unconscious intertwine a bowl, or do you see

Maureen Spielman: 00:38:08

them as different?

Unknown: 00:38:10

They're, they're really interchangeable when we're

Unknown: 00:38:12

talking about hypnosis, I mean, the the subconscious might be

Unknown: 00:38:15

more closer to conscious, this still really not fully aware of

Unknown: 00:38:22

what's going on in the present. The unconscious could be a layer

Unknown: 00:38:26

deeper, where it's not at all in touch with what's going on in

Unknown: 00:38:29

the present in this, but they also some, you can hear them

Unknown: 00:38:34

used interchangeably, too. So okay. Yeah, that makes perfect

Unknown: 00:38:39

sense. If the, if someone is beginning to become aware, even

Unknown: 00:38:44

through our talk today, about okay, I see my pattern. And that

Unknown: 00:38:50

sure seems like my nine year old self, and they begin to become

Unknown: 00:38:54

aware. I know the book has written down exercises if people

Unknown: 00:38:59

choose. Which reminds me of one other question I want to ask

Unknown: 00:39:01

before we leave today, but what would you say would be a

Unknown: 00:39:06

beginning question to greet whatever comes to you like if

Unknown: 00:39:11

you're beginning to say like, Gee, that is a that is a younger

Unknown: 00:39:14

part of myself?

Maureen Spielman: 00:39:16

What would be a beginning thing, someone how

Maureen Spielman: 00:39:19

we could then

Janet Philbin: 00:39:21

be with ourselves? I guess? Well, first,

Janet Philbin: 00:39:24

I would encourage people to tune into their physical body and

Janet Philbin: 00:39:27

where do they experience that younger self? Is it in your car,

Janet Philbin: 00:39:33

your throat, your stomach, you know your back and really just

Janet Philbin: 00:39:36

first tune into that experience and see what the body has to

Janet Philbin: 00:39:41

tell you. I would pick up a pen. I would get a paper I would

Janet Philbin: 00:39:45

close your eyes and I would just journal whatever's coming up and

Janet Philbin: 00:39:48

they might seem ridiculous. How could I be thinking this? Where

Janet Philbin: 00:39:52

are these thoughts coming from? It doesn't matter. Just let it

Janet Philbin: 00:39:57

out. Right with your

Janet Philbin: 00:40:00

Eyes closed, your paper will be messy. Right? Without paper

Janet Philbin: 00:40:05

without lines. Don't worry about punctuation or spelling and just

Janet Philbin: 00:40:11

let it out, you have to let it out. It's there, because you've

Janet Philbin: 00:40:14

held it so many years, journaling helps you begin to

Janet Philbin: 00:40:18

let it out, then when you can understand what's in there more,

Janet Philbin: 00:40:22

you can begin to work with that younger self and journal to it

Janet Philbin: 00:40:25

and have a conversation with it. And what do you need to feel

Janet Philbin: 00:40:28

better and probably get support from a coach or a therapist or a

Janet Philbin: 00:40:32

hypnotherapist to help you it's hard to do on your own not

Janet Philbin: 00:40:35

impossible, but it's hard because we're not objective

Janet Philbin: 00:40:38

about ourselves. Yeah.

Maureen Spielman: 00:40:41

And the shame, the sharing that you can do, and

Maureen Spielman: 00:40:44

just to be witnessed for what you've experienced I like,

Maureen Spielman: 00:40:48

because I know that you have chapters on meditation and

Maureen Spielman: 00:40:50

journaling, as well. So you kind of just spoke to that the

Maureen Spielman: 00:40:54

importance, or I guess, not the importance, but like how

Maureen Spielman: 00:40:57

journaling can be so beneficial. And it kind of goes along with

Maureen Spielman: 00:41:01

what you were saying about just the expression like, let's,

Maureen Spielman: 00:41:04

let's find beginning ways to move it from our mind our body

Maureen Spielman: 00:41:08

and begin to process it in a new way. And you know, what has

Maureen Spielman: 00:41:12

meditation meant for you in your life, and I know that sometimes

Maureen Spielman: 00:41:17

the meditation concept can seem like, it's like this concrete

Maureen Spielman: 00:41:23

thing between or like, I was gonna say, between, you know,

Maureen Spielman: 00:41:26

you either meditate or you don't, and that seems like

Maureen Spielman: 00:41:29

there's a big divide. But that's, that's not the case.

Maureen Spielman: 00:41:34

That's not truth. No, because of meditation can be as simple as

Maureen Spielman: 00:41:38

I'm gonna focus on my breath right now.

Janet Philbin: 00:41:41

That's meditation, you're washing the

Janet Philbin: 00:41:43

dishes, you're in the shower, you're on a walk.

Janet Philbin: 00:41:47

You don't have to lie down, and be still and not move and clear

Janet Philbin: 00:41:54

your mind, it's almost impossible to clear your mind.

Janet Philbin: 00:41:58

In fact, I would expect people not to be able to clear their

Janet Philbin: 00:42:02

mind. And we're going to have these thoughts. Dr. Shefali

Janet Philbin: 00:42:05

calls a monkey mind, you know, you'll see that where you're

Janet Philbin: 00:42:09

meditating, maybe you're listening to a guided meditation

Janet Philbin: 00:42:11

or beautiful music, and also, oh my god, I forgot to put the

Janet Philbin: 00:42:14

laundry in the dryer, I have to pick up Jimmy at school at

Janet Philbin: 00:42:16

three. I need to buy snacks for soccer. And, and people get

Janet Philbin: 00:42:21

angry at themselves are frustrated. They're like, I

Janet Philbin: 00:42:24

can't meditate. This isn't working. Look at all these

Janet Philbin: 00:42:26

thoughts.

Janet Philbin: 00:42:27

What I'd like people to do is say, Okay, thank you. Talk to

Janet Philbin: 00:42:32

the solid. Thank you for reminding me, I'm going to come

Janet Philbin: 00:42:34

back to you later, and come back to your breath, come back to the

Janet Philbin: 00:42:38

meditation come back. Oh, another thought Thank you very

Janet Philbin: 00:42:41

much. Come back. Our brains are always working. The

Janet Philbin: 00:42:45

neurotransmitters are always transmitting information. The

Janet Philbin: 00:42:50

minute we begin to let our guard down and relaxation, the ego is

Janet Philbin: 00:42:55

going to perk up and go, Oh, no, no, remember this. Remember

Janet Philbin: 00:42:58

that? So acknowledge it. That's okay.

Janet Philbin: 00:43:02

That's okay. Thank you very much. Got it. Got it. I'm gonna

Janet Philbin: 00:43:04

do this again. Now. Thanks again. And if I do that, I still

Janet Philbin: 00:43:09

to this day meditating 25 years, I still do this to this day

Janet Philbin: 00:43:12

doesn't matter, those intervening thoughts are going

Janet Philbin: 00:43:15

to show up, I allow them, accept them, and be there and be in the

Janet Philbin: 00:43:21

meditation yourself, whatever your meditation is.

Maureen Spielman: 00:43:24

One way to meditate, I don't believe there

Maureen Spielman: 00:43:26

is because everyone's different. So something different works for

Maureen Spielman: 00:43:28

everybody. And I think that that goes to that every day is

Maureen Spielman: 00:43:32

different. I, you know, sometimes I can settle in and

Maureen Spielman: 00:43:36

and be in that space, I turned on a meditation when I woke up

Maureen Spielman: 00:43:39

early today, I pretty much then pulled something else to do. And

Maureen Spielman: 00:43:43

I wasn't in the place that I,

Maureen Spielman: 00:43:47

you know, wanted to meditate, I guess. And that's okay. I think

Maureen Spielman: 00:43:51

the I love how you're saying inner dialogue, two, because

Maureen Spielman: 00:43:55

that's something I've learned through my programs. And the

Maureen Spielman: 00:43:58

work I do now is just this idea of the inner dialogues with

Maureen Spielman: 00:44:03

ourselves, and how we can transform the way we speak to

Maureen Spielman: 00:44:06

ourselves and be with ourselves. And

Maureen Spielman: 00:44:11

when you are talking about that, like just that example of when

Maureen Spielman: 00:44:14

you're doing the dishes, I thought of the question like,

Maureen Spielman: 00:44:16

Well, what do you think, you know, like to yourself, because

Maureen Spielman: 00:44:19

we're always I think I was always conditioned to be like,

Maureen Spielman: 00:44:22

Well, what did they think? What did the outer think what are the

Maureen Spielman: 00:44:25

but it's like, well, what do I think and start that even if

Maureen Spielman: 00:44:28

it's the breath during a simple daily task, it gets you closer

Maureen Spielman: 00:44:33

to your authenticity that you talked about earlier. So it's

Maureen Spielman: 00:44:40

beautiful, and it doesn't have to look any certain way.

Maureen Spielman: 00:44:44

I thank you so much for being here today with me, Janet. It's

Maureen Spielman: 00:44:48

been a great conversation. And when the listeners go to look

Maureen Spielman: 00:44:52

for you, where can they find you? The best way for people to

Maureen Spielman: 00:44:56

find me is my website. Hit note. No, that's on my website.

Janet Philbin: 00:45:00

It used to be my website now is my name, Janet

Janet Philbin: 00:45:04

philbin.com. And all my social media links are there links to

Janet Philbin: 00:45:09

my books, links to book a complimentary consultation. And

Maureen Spielman: 00:45:15

anything else, probably more than people want

Maureen Spielman: 00:45:17

to know is there. Oh my god, I love that I love when there's

Maureen Spielman: 00:45:21

just so many resources. And you know, after you've been in

Maureen Spielman: 00:45:24

practice, as long as you have that is, I mean, all of your

Maureen Spielman: 00:45:27

knowledge and wisdom is coming through. So, yeah, I'll just say

Maureen Spielman: 00:45:31

again, that the book will be on your website, and I'll put

Maureen Spielman: 00:45:33

everything in the show notes, but beautiful book, show up for

Maureen Spielman: 00:45:36

yourself. It's, it's,

Maureen Spielman: 00:45:39

it's, you know, not a long, long read. So I just it's almost

Maureen Spielman: 00:45:45

something you could put in your I know, you say on the East

Maureen Spielman: 00:45:48

Coast, your pocket book we say purse here in the Midwest. It's

Maureen Spielman: 00:45:53

pick up a copy of the book. And yeah, thanks so much for being

Maureen Spielman: 00:45:57

here. Oh, thanks for having me. Marina loved our conversation.

Maureen Spielman: 00:46:01

Yeah. So to our listeners. Thanks for being here. And we'll

Maureen Spielman: 00:46:03

see you next time on mystical sisterhood.

Maureen Spielman: 00:46:09

Thanks for listening to this episode of mystical sisterhood.

Maureen Spielman: 00:46:12

If you love what you heard, please visit Apple podcasts, and

Maureen Spielman: 00:46:15

subscribe and leave a review and share with a friend if you're

Maureen Spielman: 00:46:18

called to do so. To learn more about my one on one coaching

Maureen Spielman: 00:46:21

programs, or join the mystical sisterhood membership, visit

Maureen Spielman: 00:46:25

Maureen spielman.com or mystical sisterhood.com Thanks so much.

Maureen Spielman: 00:46:30

I'll see you on the next episode.