36: How To Be In The Not Knowing

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Hey there, welcome to mystical sisterhood. This is

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your host, Maureen Spielman. I started the show to highlight

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the intuitives, healers and other courageous women that I've

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met along my journey and continue to meet. Through

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amazing interviews, I seek to ask insightful questions to

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uncover ways in which you the listener can apply the wisdom

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and knowledge to your own life. I believe that we're all in this

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together. So sharing healing and joy, and bringing community

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together is both my passion and purpose. If you'd like to learn

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more about the mystical sisterhood community I'm

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building please visit www mystical sisterhood.com See you

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in the episode.

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Hello, and welcome back to mystical sisterhood. This is

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your host, Maureen Spielman. And today I am here on another solo

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episode called How to be in the not knowing, I always say these

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are as much for me as they are for you. So I think the things

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that we're attracted to, in our lives are part of what we need

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to learn.

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Today, I decided to switch away from what I was going to

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originally talk about, and follow where I was being guided,

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I've been going through a lot on a few different levels with a

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close friend. And there's a lot surfacing in my heart, my

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emotions, my mind and on the soul level, a lot of questions I

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have, and ways of being that I continue to try to be with and

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grow with. So I knew last week that I didn't have a guest lined

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up. And so I thought, okay, there's gonna be a solo episode.

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And based on what I had going on in my life, I was thinking of

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the topic choosing between, or the choice that we have between

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love and fear. But it didn't feel quite right. And I got to

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Monday morning, and I thought, What am I going to talk about?

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And so I did a practice, which I often do, which call it

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meditation, call it getting still. But I sat, turned my

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timer on for 15 minutes and ask the question, What am I meant to

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know here? And what am I meant to share or talk about today,

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and what really came up strongly was, How comfortable are we,

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when we don't know. And when we are in what I'm calling the not

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knowing. So I was really thankful that that came to me

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and spent the morning, you know, putting it together and try to

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figure out what I was going to say. So I think this is about

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learning to be in the not knowing. Because we are so

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conditioned to do that. It's really truly a relearning how to

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be, which I believe, is a real learning because we came in

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knowing how to be and then we were conditioned away from it.

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But I really thought that this could be

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a good topic, because a lot of us find ourselves in the not

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knowing all the time, we might be faced with a

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some outer experience or challenge either we're having or

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a person close to us is having an that could be like a really

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close friend or partner, or a child. And I just want to be

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with you and say it can feel really, really hard. And to be

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seen in how that can feel. And on the human level on the

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emotional level. It's real, it's real and to be seen, and that is

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super important.

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And I think it's we don't have a roadmap, right? And every

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situation is different. So when we come to something in our

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lives that feels challenging for us, partly it's because we don't

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know what's next. We don't know what's going to come. And I and

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I was thinking about it, and thinking, well, what are we

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uncomfortable with? Are we uncomfortable with the not

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knowing? Or and it can be both? I'm just asking the question,

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are we uncomfortable with the emotions that are coming to us

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around it? And I think I know for myself, like for so much of

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my life, I kind of push down the emotions, that it's really the

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sort of like there's a renaissance of being with the

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emotions, learning to be with the emotions, learning to feel,

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how they feel in my body.

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And all of these things. So just to name you know, a few

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outerworld things I've seen people going through and you

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know, maybe not having

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And answer to. And that being part of that not knowing that

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can feel frustrating is our people that may be either going

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through a medical crisis, something that is really big,

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and not not knowing necessarily what's to come how to navigate

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it.

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It can really, if we're just looking at it in one way, take

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us under a tidal wave. And I've seen that happen too, with those

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going through ongoing, sort of, like, what seemed like more

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chronic conditions medically. And that can be really trying

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and challenging to because you may be in the case where you're

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doing what you can to heal it or integrate what your your past

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into your present, yet it still presents. And so that's, that's

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a way that the not knowing what's to come can be really

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frustrating. I think an example of one I've seen a lot too, in

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recent years, especially since COVID. And I have to believe

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it's because also what our kids are going through all the

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pressures that they have, and the race for their attention

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with their phones, and any sort of tech is, I'm gonna call it a

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mental health crisis or an emotional health crisis,

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however, you

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name it. I just feel like, it's really, really, really difficult

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to see our children go through challenges, and also for us as

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parents to experience the feelings and emotions that come

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along with that. Because the truth is, we never know, we

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never know what's next. And so we can only do, what we know how

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to do and learn or relearn what we've forgotten to do in the

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circumstances. And we'll kind of talk about that as we weave in,

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you know, the conversation today. But I think that when we

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have or I know from my experience, when there's

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something with a child, a lot of fear and anxiety can come up

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around it. So I'm sort of naming different sort of, I'm going to

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just call them feeling states or emotional states that can come

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up around whether it's frustration, anger, sadness,

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fear, anxiety, all sorts of things, anger that comes up. So

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that come up in the not knowing for us. There's also a midlife

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crisis, where we are coming to midlife and thinking like,

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what's my purpose and what's next for me, and then not

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knowing and feeling like time as time is going by and you can't

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possibly like, quote unquote, figure it out soon enough. And

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that can be very frustrating. I feel like I went through a lot

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of that in my 40s, for sure.

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And then I can't believe I didn't put this one first. But a

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relationships, relationship not knowing, perhaps being on a

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short term or a long term relationship and not knowing it

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can be really uncomfortable place. Because we're so

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conditioned to find the answer be hard on ourselves for the not

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knowing.

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Look to fix or change a situation, instead of knowing it

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might be here for us in our learning. And but I want to

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Nate, I wanted to first name because for most of us, it is

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our experience, that these things can feel tiring and

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exhausting. And it's so understandable that that, that

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they do feel that way. Because they can feel bigger than life

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when we forget that we're part of it. And we're creators within

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it.

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So for you, you know, just posing that question to you what

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comes up for you when you don't know what's next? What emotions

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or feeling states come to you that you either sit with or

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don't and there's no right or wrong in that. But how is it

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that that shows up for you when you don't know.

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I feel like for me

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I I'm I am kind of between both worlds. Because if you've been

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listening for a while, you know that I'm a believer that we're

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having this human experience. Right and and and we were souls

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that we have souls within us and we're having a human experience.

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So there's the both and there's the we're held by the benevolent

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universe, and how is this for me, but there's also the truth

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in navigating

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our path and path with our loved ones within ourselves. So sort

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of doing this dance between both sides, and we're learning how to

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be with both of them.

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So that's what happens to me. And when there's something big

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in my outer world these days I find myself like straddling

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between the two of the soul and then the human experience. And I

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think that an intention I have for myself

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Because I think that the,

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the soul side has such softness to it is that I, I intend to

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come to that side first for myself, and then I can be with

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the human parts too.

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My soul seems to know, there's something bigger at play in a

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lot of situations. And, and I think when I'm in that space, I

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would love to hear your thoughts on this I can trust.

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But my mind and my ego I'll call it desperately wants to fix the

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situation to make it better, like I said before to make it go

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away. And it's so understandable it would because it seems like

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it would be so much easier. And on many levels it is It wouldn't

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be right if we didn't have to

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have the challenges that we do. So I said about the friendly

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universe, I was just rereading parts of conversations with God

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by Neale Donald Walsch. And in it, he says the way to reduce

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the pain you associate with earth experiences and events,

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both yours and others, is to change the way you behold them.

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So when they come into our world,

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being able to sit with them, as to not judge them the

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experiences. But to know that they're here to, for us to

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remember our true. Remember our light that which we lost long

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ago, because this lifetime is about discernment, right? Like

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the what we want more of and in what we want to experience less

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of, but it's all that path back to home back to our knowing back

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to our truth back to our light. And you are in the process of

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rediscovering I believe if you're listening to this, and

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you're listening to either me or any of my guests, you are on

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that process of remembering and changing your inner experience

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of the outer experience.

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I know I get a little I think misaligned or what feels like

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off center when I'm so much in in the other side of it like the

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the ego, the human mind the fix it.

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I think I'm looking at it as wanting, wanting to have this as

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understandable, a less painful or pain free experience. But I

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think we're all reminded that life isn't pain free. And if

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we're here to remember who we are, then we're going to

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experience a wide range of experiences. And my need to fix

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it is a product of thinking it's wrong to begin with.

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So yeah, another turning point for me. And I think that in the

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book, The Neale Donald Walsch book, it helped me remember

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is when there's something an outer event happening if it's an

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illness, or a child, or a relationship. And this was one

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that I didn't start learning until about three years ago, was

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that I'm not a victim to those circumstances. But I'm a creator

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of what I'm seeking to experience and redefine as my

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experience, as opposed to whatever my experience was in my

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childhood.

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Because I think traditionally the not knowing, for me could

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feel like a helpless place. And circumstances can feel so much

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bigger than us. But it's getting quiet. It's getting in the

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being, it's getting in the stillness and going inward. That

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helps me feel more of the knowing the finding my answers,

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just like I did when I started out today, like, what's my

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answer? What's here for me to share today? And the answer that

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came was shocked about the not knowing and how uncomfortable it

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can be and how to be with our emotions and sit with them.

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So learning to be with what comes versus thinking that I

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need to do as well. I love how Michael Brown of the presence

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process says this is this is a good one. The only way out is

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through and the only way through is in because they always heard

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the only way out is through, but I never really was hearing them

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the only way through is in inward. So is there an emotion

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or information that can come up for us in the not knowing

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because the not knowing is how something appears, the

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frustration and the emotions that come and the question of

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where can you turn when you don't know. And although we've

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been conditioned to think that the not knowing is on

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comfortable. And I said this in the beginning, but I'll say it

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again, perhaps it's because sitting with the emotion that

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come up that comes up. So the emotions that come up with not

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knowing is the part that's uncomfortable.

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So I believe that. And the more I work with myself and I work

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with individuals, is that we have that richness within us.

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And it's the peeling back of the layers and shedding of the

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conditioning that allows us to get to the heart of the matter.

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So let's go for a few ways that I do this in a few more points.

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To reference, if it's a process that you're curious about. And I

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may have said this in my other solo episodes, but it's the

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process of going inward. So I think it's what I'm seeing more

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and more is how important it is to make intentional room for

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yourself. We all lead busy lives, and it's really hard to

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find the time to go within. But I encourage you to find that

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space and time, every day, whether it's the first thing you

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wake up in the morning at 536 3730. Or, you know, if you

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get to take a break in the afternoon, or if not in the

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evening. But making that intentional room for yourself

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knowing that your soul connection and going within for

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your answers is nothing is more important. Your soul is always

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guiding you. I know one way that I avoid making the room for

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myself is to really fall back on that old busyness. And I know

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you guys so many can relate is, is

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distracting I work out of my home. So Geez, it's always a

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dishwasher to be emptied, or some food to be eaten or

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just something that keeps me from sitting and being still.

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And this morning, I did it with my 15 minutes. And I don't even

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think I made it through the 15 minutes. But I got a lot of gold

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when I was there. But I think that when we go to the question

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of

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how does the discomfort and the not knowing show up for us, when

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we don't know

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is knowing that there's a message to listen to in any and

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all emotions, feelings, experiences that come to you.

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That's, that's the inner richness. That's your emotional

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intellect.

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I actually saw I was up in Madison, Wisconsin yesterday.

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And I think I saw a therapeutic place like a counseling center,

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and it was called, was actually called the gift of emotions. And

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I usually don't see that on a therapeutic

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center. And I thought it was really beautiful because it was

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just so therefore you like let's talk about it, let's let's

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unwrap the gift of the emotions. They're here to guide us and

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bring us back.

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And to go within an ask. So if you feel the emotions, the first

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part is to feel them, where do they surface in your body. And

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just be with them and breathe with them. And you know, often

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not sure about you, but for emotions for me, especially if

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there's a tough outer circumstance. I can feel them,

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right. They're there. They're right there. They're right on

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the surface. And so this morning, I looked up a yoga

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playlist, because music is one way that I use to move emotions.

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And I was really intentional about it today because I knew

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that there were some to move. And so you hey, we all know the

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music that can allow our tears to flow and our emotions to

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come. Even if it's anger to come out. There's music for that,

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too. It's really important. But when the emotions come to you,

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if you can sit and ask them, What are you here to tell me?

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What are you here to tell me? And I think quite simply in my

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not knowing of my outer circumstance, I was being caught

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in the doing. And then I pull myself into the beam and into

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the setting and into the feeling and then into the inquiring and

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the compassion of what are you here to tell me?

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Is there a need here that I have that I have forgotten? And is it

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is it that in this case Maureen needs solace? Maureen needs

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compassion, Maureen? Because we forget often to include

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ourselves in the equation when we're dealing with the outer

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world. Of course, you know, it's like Who me but I believe we are

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all reawakening to this together and we are finding that nothing

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is more important. So what do you need at the moment?

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Is it compassionate language? The language of understanding. I

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see you I hear you that inner dialogue for yourself, not for

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the other for yourself.

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have someone to hold your hand and even

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just to read parenting, and that's a whole nother episode of

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coming back to ourselves, and re mothering and re parenting and

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repairing what we didn't get in our childhoods, because often,

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most likely, the emotions coming out for us are reminiscent of

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something from our past. And I'll ask you what is the truth?

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That is here for you to remember. The not knowing may be

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here for you to rediscover and recreate who it is you are

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becoming. And I bet when you sit with it, you will remember a lot

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more than you give yourself credit for. Because we can't,

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can't always get to the answers. If we're not quiet with

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ourselves. If we're not inquiring with ourselves.

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I'd say committing to hearing yourself, and that what is

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inside of you. And uncovering the answer is help you heal. And

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in turn, you will be able to give

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I think more freely, more fluidly more in flow to others

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on the outer world, when you learn to be with yourself in the

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inner world and go to your needs. First and foremost. And

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then I think an important part for me.

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And let me know what you think I'm missing today. But is to

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lean into your safe and trustworthy relationships. So

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allow yourself even as you're kind of being with whatever your

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outer situation or challenge or experiences, lean into the safe

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and trustworthy places.

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Reach out if you're looking to find what that might be for you.

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And maybe we can think of ideas. But

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I don't know today. If this question of how can we be within

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that knowing or being within that knowing support you at all.

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But it's meant to be a moving from whatever you're

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experiencing on the outside, to bring it into your own inner

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process and experience. And it will help you I believe,

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navigate with the little stuff and the big stuff. And learning

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that in our being we can find answers.

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Sometimes a lot faster than we can and are dealing and pair it

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with you're doing that make sure you're doing the Bing

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or Bing Bing.

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Thanks for listening today. As always, I appreciate it. If you

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haven't left a review, Apple is the platform where reviews are

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collected. And I'd be so grateful if you pop down there

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for a moment to give it a rating and a review. It helps the work

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become more exponential.

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And if you want to reach out and continue the conversation, you

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can email me at hello at Maureen spielman.com. I'm all about

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transforming any older paradigms into newer paradigms. It's a

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huge love of mine. And for both personal and professional, and

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just

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getting goodness out into the universe. We're all needed for

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that.

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In the mystical sisterhood membership, like I always say we

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discuss topics in this really soul centric way.

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And I'm always committed within that forum and platform to

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conscious conversations. So I plan to put together a few

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workshops for the fall. So take a look at my website soon.

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That's a Maureen spielman.com And you'll find mystical

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sisterhood.com connected there.

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But many, many thanks for being here. I hope this assist you in

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some way, even if there's one sentence in here or one quote,

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or anything that you can take out into your world and share

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with somebody. One has a million as they say. And that's it. So I

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will see you on the next episode with our next guest and stay

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well.

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Thanks for listening to this episode of mystical sisterhood.

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If you love what you heard, please visit Apple podcast and

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subscribe and leave a review and share with a friend if you're

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called to do so. To learn more about my one on one coaching

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programs, or join the mystical sisterhood membership. Visit

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Maureen spielman.com or mystical sisterhood.com Thanks so much.

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I'll see you in the next episode.